take a lesson

I got my pathology report yesterday. the cancer was in my left breast. It was a non invasive cancer and it didn't show anything invasive. No other cancer cells. showed all the calcifications, which are what lead to all of this in the first place. I had clusters of them.

the right breast also showed calcifications, the kind that can lead to cancer. It showed some cells that were indicators of possible invasive cancer in the future. she said indicators of DCIS, which is worse than what I had. DCIS is in the ductal system and spreads. I was very surprised to hear this because I've never had trouble with the right. I've never been called back for ultrasounds for the right side, never a problem. all tests done, including an MRI said right side was normal, nothing remarkable. It took cutting all the breast tissue out, sending it to a lab to be picked apart piece by piece for them to find what could've been a huge, horrible fight for my life. doesn't make me very confident of all the testing that's out there! Mammograms never seen ANYTHING on the right, and the MRI that took 1,000 images didn't find a thing either!! How freaking scary is that?!

so my lesson here is, when you have this gut feeling, deep, deep in your heart and you KNOW something is wrong and even though ALL dr's are telling you all you need to do is the lumpectomy (or whatever it is you're going through) and you're doing all this research and people are questioning what you want to do and you're getting all these opinions and comments, you do what YOU feel is the thing to do. dr's are just people too. They are just like us only with a degree. Yes, a medical degree, but this doesn't mean they know everything and it certainly doesn't mean they know what's right for you. You need to research, research and research some more. You dedicate your life to learning everything you can about your problem and then you learn some more, because you have to be your own advocate. you can't depend on others to make life decisions for you. Of course you have to listen to drs for some things, but I'm saying when you have that gut feeling and things you are reading are pointing to the same things, then stick to your guns. find someone who will help you. go to dr after dr after dr until you find someone who is willing to listen and help.

I am so thankful for finding Dr Goethals. thank you to my sister, Jill, for seeing that billboard. I was losing hope when every dr turned me away saying I was being too radical. dr Goethals also told me I was taking a radical step, but she also said that it's my body and my life and I should be able to do what I want with it. she too was surprised of the right breast findings. I now feel 100% confident in the decision I made. Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd have to do. I was scared to death to actually go through with it, but I knew I had to for my own piece of mind. I KNEW something could go wrong. and I kept hearing stories of others who's mom or aunt or friend started out the same as me and decided to listen to the drs and even second opinions and go with the lumpectomy and then have it come back and take their life. I didn't want that to happen. And now it won't.

I am 100% cancer free. I had clean margins, lymph nodes are all good, I am healthy once again. I don't have to worry about 5 years down the road this coming back. I'm done. and I got me some 20 year old boobs for life! ;) My plastic surgeon did a freaking AWESOME job!!!!!! the ONLY scars I have are underneath. I've looked at about a million pictures to prepare myself for what I was going to look like and I have seen some pretty scarred up boobs. I have no visible scars. I am thrilled.

thanks to all of you who have supported me and listened to me and helped me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.