The date

I am having my surgery next Thursday, the 22nd. Yes I'm scared. But feel I am doing the right thing. Feel at ease with my decision. This has come with a couple meltdowns and lots of tears, questions, research, reading others stories, listening to stories of others. Today my daughter told me that she knows someone who's mom had breast cancer, really small like me, caught it early like me and decided to go the other route, which is my only other option...the lumpectomy, etc. Then 5 years later it came back and took her life. That's the second time I've heard this in the past month, so feel I am doing the right thing.


Then, reading my consent form from the plastic surgeon, all 11 pages of it, there's a section about how calcium deposits can form around the implant. These deposits must be identified as different from calcium deposits that are a sign of breast cancer. This pisses me off because ever since I started getting mammograms, they've told me I have calcifications but no one has ever told me they are a sign of breast cancer! Every time I get a mammo, they always have me come back for an ultrasound to take a closer look. I have a cluster of them and they want to look closer. Had someone told me over the years that they turn cancerous, I would've begun this research years ago. Then the breast surgeon said the same thing...you do have this cluster we'd need to keep our eye on for the rest of your life. No more clusters for me!


I've also read several times that women who take menopausal hormone therapy for many years have an increased risk of getting breast cancer. Glad I never had to take that. I have hot flashes, mainly at night and they are tolerable. I'd rather go natural anyway.


Better close this, it's storming! More later!