Friday, February 2, 2018

BII reports

I found this video on one of the facebook groups I belong to. Yes, these are coming out of me!

And this is the article she mentions at the end. They did autopsies on women that had implants for 2-30 years and said the chest wall didn't look human anymore. Yikes.

I can't wait to feel better. I sure hope I do! One lady said her ringing in the ears is gone since she explanted. OMG, I have that and soooo hope it goes away!!! And eye twitching, shortness of breath and stomach distention. Please go with these rotting implants!!!!

Breast implant illness

Well, I have an appt with the chief of plastic surgery at Beaumont for March 6th for a consultation to get my breast implants removed. After joining 3 different fb groups for implant illness and implant illness and breast cancer and one for healing after implants and doing a LOT of research this week, I've decided that I have to get these out. I HAVE to. They are making me sick. Like I said in my previous post, I had no idea there was even such a thing as breast implant illness (BII) until Sunday. I'm so tired of hurting all the time. My back, my legs, my hips, my hands, my forearms, my feet (and not like they are tired). I didn't know what was going on with me. Do I have rheumatoid arthritis? Fibromyalgia? What is going on with me? Just over the last few years so many things have changed about me. I've been to dr's to try to get help and they all tell me, I'm post menopausal, it's my age (57), my weight. It's because I had 2 major surgeries in 3 years and that changes your body and mind. I was so fed up with it last weekend and so down feeling about how little energy I have, how I've gained all this weight and can't get it off no matter what I do (dr: your body is in a battle with itself because of your 2 female hormonal surgeries). My life has changed so much. I can't do a lot of the things I used it just a couple years ago, it's frustrating. To decline that fast. I can hardly go up and down my basement stairs, it hurts so bad.

I don't know why it suddenly popped into my head, could it have anything to do with my implants? I was complaining to Matt, like I often do now, and said, ever since my surgeries I haven't been the same. I've said that a million times to him, starting with the first week after my mastectomy. My back was so bad when I came home. My stomach always bloated and blah feeling and making all kinds of gurgling noises whenever I eat. Still does that. Bloats as soon as I eat. I kept saying, my stomach isn't the same. My body has changed but dr's kept saying that happens with major surgery sometimes. So I decided to google, "Could my breast implants be making me sick?" I don't know if it was divine intervention or what ;) that that popped into my head and I don't know why it took me almost 6 years for it to happen, but you wouldn't believe all the stuff that came up in that search. I clicked on a couple things and learned about BII. They described me to a T. I was floored. I read it to Matt and he said, what the hell?! They had a link to a facebook group so I went and joined the closed group. As soon as I was approved I sat and read. There's over 30,000 women on there all exactly like me. It freaks me out every single day to read their posts about how their arms hurt, how they thought they have RA and some got diagnosed with some of these diseases....the one's who have had implants for many, many years. Someone will say, does anyone get pains under their breast, like a stabbing pain? And all of us say yes. Does anyone have trouble losing weight? Does anyone have trouble breathing? That was today's. I read the thread and almost started crying because I was diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Started having a lot of trouble breathing and developed this cough so went to dr. She put me on an inhaler. Started a new dr last year and she wanted to do a breathing test and found nothing wrong with me, no asthma. Yet I can't breathe. Every one was saying the same thing. They all get breathing tests and pass but can't breathe. One woman said, I bend over to pick something up and I can't breathe. I huff and puff for 5 minutes after that. Her dr told her to lose weight but she's 5"7" and weighs 135. It's just so weird to be a part of 3 different groups and we all have the same symptoms, all developed after implants. And they post their before explant pictures and after explant and the difference!! Everyone says when they get their implants out, they lose 5-10lbs that first week from inflammation. Some continue to lose weight. All of them stop hurting within the first week. All their breathing problems go away immediately. One girl woke up from surgery and started crying cause she could take a deep breath and not cough. Everyone says "the heal is real".

I have done a LOT of research this week, a lot of reading. I have a full page of questions. I have to have a procedure called en bloc capsulectomy. It involves very careful, tedious removal of the implants so not to rupture them. They clean out the cavity where they sit and all the scar tissue and possibly some lymph nodes if they are affected. They run tests to see if you have metal poisoning and mold. You get to keep your implants for future possible lawsuits. I don't intend to sue anyone, I just want them out. It's possible they have been leaking. they also sweat and the sweat causes the chemicals (named in another post) to leak out. I also found out that ALL implants are made from silicone. The shell is silicone. No one told me that when I chose to have saline implants. So when they sweat, the silicone and all the metals of the shell leak out into your body and causes all the symptoms I've been having plus more. Left in too long and they can cause lifelong diseases and in some cases, death. I also have valves on mine, used to fill with more saline after they are inserted if you decide you want to be bigger or smaller. I had to have a second minor surgery to get closed up permanently after I decided to stay this size. And now I find out that implants made by Mentor, with a textured shell and with valves, which I have both of, by Mentor, have been failing. The valves leak which lets the saline leak out, lets air in and they turn moldy. Then the mold leaks out into your body, very similar to the mold in your bathroom, black mold. There are lawsuits over the leaky valves and textured shells. It was also discovered around last spring that the textured implants are causing cancer. I asked my breast surgeon about it and she said there was nothing to worry about. I asked her what signs to watch for and she said there isn't any. I have been uncomfortable with them in my body ever since. I found a test on a Dr's website to test for mold so I took it. It says it is certain that I have mold poisoning. I have 11 of the 13 clusters of signs of having black mold in my eyes, breathing problems, metallic taste in your mouth and many more. THAT freaks me out. That's when I decided to make an appt for a consultation.

All of this really freaks me out and it also disappoints me. I thought I was over this. I thought I could put it in my past. the plastic surgeon who put them in said I might have to change them out after 10 yrs but most women have them for life. Even told me I'd have the nicest breasts in the nursing home. Never told me about the dangers. I thought I did my research on them before getting them but I guess I didn't dig deep enough. I'm not happy with the thought of another surgery. I'm scared. I'm scared to be completely flat. Scared of what they'll find. But feel there's no other choice. They are making me sick now and I don't even want to think about what they'll do to me in the future.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Here is the list of the chemicals found in implants.

1. Methyl Ethyl Ketone
2. Cyclohexanone
3. Isopropyl alcohol
4. Denatured Alcohol
5. Acetone
6. Urethane
7. Polyvinyl Chloride (Liquid vinyl) This ingredient was used in all medical devices made at Edwards Lab, from tubing to gel.
8. Lacquer Thinner
9. Ethyl Acetate
10. Epoxy Resin
11. Epoxy Hardener - both 10 & 11 are chemically known as glycosides Ether of Bisphenol A.
12. Amine
13. Printing Ink
14. Toluene
15. Dichloromethan (Methylene Chloride) This breaks down in the body so blood cannot carry oxygen: Metabolizes carbon monoxide poisoning. Causes CSN depression.
16. Freon
17. Silicone
18. Flux
19. Solder
20. Metal cleaning Acid
21. Lofol (Formaldehyde)
22. Talcum Powder
23. Color Pigments as Release Agents
24. Oakite (Cleaning Solvent)
25. Eastman 910 glue (Cyanoacyrylates)
26. Ethylene Oxide (ETO)
27. Carbon Black
28. Xylene
29. Hexone
30. Hexanone2
31. Thixon-OSN-2
32. Antioxidant (Rubber)
33. Acid stearic
34. Zinc Oxide
35. Naptha (Rubber Solvent)
36. Phenol
37. Benzene - Known Carcinogen!!!!! KNOWN TO CAUSE IMMUNE DISEASE!!!!!!

Monday, January 29, 2018

Well, here I am again. It'll be 6 years this coming April since my double mastectomy and reconstruction. I had my last appt with my breast surgeon this past summer, after my 5 year mark. Everything is still good. No signs of cancer or anything like that so she released me. Felt good to put an end to the whole ordeal.

Over the last 2-3 years, I haven't been the same person. My anxiety has increased, my eye sight is worse and I don't have the energy and stamina I used to have. I've always been very active around here, bringing in wood, working outside, nothing really I at least wouldn't try to do and usually could do it. I used to walk 4 miles a day and do weight lifting and cardio. That ended sometime after my hysterectomy. I remember not "feeling it" and my back would get thrown out and put me in the chair for days. I tried some lower key aerobics but my back just wasn't the same. I ended up giving up. I just didn't have it in me and was frustrated that every single time I'd try to exercise, I'd hurt something. Seriously hurt something. And of course that ended up resulting in weight gain. I started seeing my dr about it, asking why I couldn't lose weight anymore. All 3 of my dr's told me the same thing, you are in a battle against your body. Because I had my breasts removed and a total hysterectomy, my hormones...what I have left of them...don't have many places to go. A woman's hormones first and foremost go to her breasts. Then to her female organs such as uterus etc. I didn't have any of this so they just kind of float around and don't know what to do with themselves. Hence weight gain and no weight loss. I tried several times to lose. At one point I lost 3 lbs in 5 months. Very discouraging but my dr would say, at least you're losing something. Anyone that has dieted and works their butts off at it knows that this is very frustrating. To completely change your eating habits, exercise, count calories, drink tons of water only to step on the scale week after week and see no losses. Again, discouraged, frustrated and quit.

Over the next year things really started changing. My back is terrible. I can hardly stand to go grocery shopping now. Ran some errands this weekend, in and out of stores and by the third store I'm limping and staying in the car while hubby goes in. Hip aching, down my leg, foot hurting. This is my new normal. I even made myself a pillow last summer for in the car because I can't stand for my foot to be on the floor. Everyone tells me it's my flip flops, I can't wear them but I don't think so because I haven't worn flip flops in 4 months and the pillow came out again this weekend. I don't feel like the same person. I'm constantly complaining to Matt about my back, my hip, my leg. I have this weird pain in my left breast. they itch all the time, which is very strange when I can't feel them. How are they itching if I have no nerves? Do you know how maddening it is to scratch and you can't feel it? And now whenever I try to stretch, my thighs cramp up. Yesterday I was getting gas, stepped over the hose and my leg cramped. I almost fell over. It hurt so bad. I have many other things going on with me. I have went so downhill over the last couple years and can't figure it out. It takes me forever to get down the basement stairs because of my right leg. Never mind coming up. There are days where I can hardly drag myself out of the chair to do anything. And not your typical, I feel lazy today. Like, I sit there and fall asleep. I feel like I weigh 500lbs and drag myself around. And it all wears on your brain. What is wrong with me??

I have also developed a constant cough and clearing the throat. I eat, I cough. I walk, I cough. I talk, I cough. I got diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Instead of listing everything individually, here is a list of what I am dealing with...

GASTROINTESTINAL AND DIGESTIVE ISSUES (I've been saying this since my hystyerectomy)
SYMPTOMS OF OR DIAGNOSIS OF FIBROMYALGIA (I've been telling Matt for a few years I wonder if I have this)

Where did this list come from? Yesterday while cutting wood (the log splitter is very loud so my mind wanders since we can't talk), out of nowhere I remembered this episode of The Dr's tv show about some star that had her breast implants removed because they were making her sick. Why did that pop into my head?? So later on I came in to google. And oh my, the stuff I found. It's called BII. breast implant illness. This is about half of the list. I have these symptoms. My mind starts reeling. I'm reading articles and find facebook groups with women who are going through this. I join one, read some posts and now I'm scared. They ALL sound like me!! Some way worse!!! I have saline implants but was not told the shell is made from silicone. There is  a list of the chemicals that are in the shell of my implants out there too. I will find it and post it but it's a scary list. Printer ink, benzene (gas), all kinds of poisons and they leak out into your body. Reading the posts from the women really scared me. Matt wants me to see a dr. Some of the women say good luck, no one will believe you. You will have to fight. I had to fight for my mastectomy and now I have to fight again? I'm not even sure what I want to do yet. My mind is reeling. Do I take them out and hope to feel better? What if I don't feel better? I think I can deal with being flat chested. I'm not crazy with how I look with the implants anyway. I just don't want to get sicker. 

I will post more info when I have more time. In the meantime, ugh. I am really trying to not let my anxiety (diagnosed with after having the implants) get the best of me.


Friday, May 1, 2015

So, it's been a while since I've posted. That's because I totally moved past the breast cancer. I had my 3 year anniversary on March 22nd and everything is still good. I don't really think about it too much nowadays. I'm so thankful for finding it so early and stomped it out before it got bad.

About a year ago, I started having other "female problems". I'm in full menopause, yet started having some sporadic bleeding. Just like a period, about 3 times a year. My gyno said it's not a real period because I'm in full menopause and can't have a period now. I went through 3 ultrasounds over the year and 2 biopsies. Given my history and all signs pointed to uterine cancer, she wanted the biopsies done. Nothing was every found as far as cancer. I did have a couple fibroids and the lining of my uterus was thicker than it should be.

Last fall I had another "period", which led to another ultrasound & biopsy. This time it showed that the fibroids had grown considerably and the lining got quite thick, all in a 5 month period. They couldn't figure out why and said maybe they never will, but again, because of my breast cancer history, she thought it was time to do a hysterectomy. We decided to wait until after the holidays and then I did some procrastinating, dreading another surgery. I had the operation done April 20th, almost 2 weeks ago.

I firmly believe that breast cancer and female organ problems and/or cancers go hand in hand. I've heard of too many people since my breast cancer diagnosis who end up getting either uterine (endometrian) cancer, ovarian cancer or some other kind of female organ cancer. I did not hesitate to agree to the full hysterectomy.

The healing has kind of taken me by surprise. My grandma, my mom, both my sisters, a niece and several other female family members have had to get hysterectomies and some of them told me how easy this was going to be, compared to my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. And yes, it was MUCH easier than that was!!!!!! Lord, yes!!!!!!! I was told I'd be sewing by the end of the week (had the surgery on a Monday), that my sister went canoeing a couple days after hers, etc, etc. Well, I have been quite sore! Hubby had to help me out of bed.....lift me up to a sitting position....for the first 4 days. Same with getting up from the recliner. After that I could do it, but still VERY painful!!! It's been a lot slower than I anticipated, which has been very frustrating. I am feeling a lot better now but honestly, still not 100%. I thought I was and then today I decided to do some housework and I think the mopping did me in. We have all hardwood floors except the bedrooms and I think it was too much. (I'm also beginning to think I have some kind of infection...bladder? UTI? but won't go into that). I had planned to clean out the car after this long winter but I was having some pain low in my stomach after mopping and decided not to take the chance of ruining my weekend. Just frustrating. I'm pretty active, REALLY tired of sitting around and just wanted to do some spring stuff since it's such a beautiful day. Oh well, in time.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this post for my memory and for anyone who may still run across this blog, to educate anyone to not let your guard down. Always get tests and anything you're supposed to be getting because you never know!!


Monday, March 25, 2013


Saturday was my nipple tattooing! I wish I could say I was done but I have to go back in a month for round one...possibly the only round...of touch ups. We got there and there was a sign on the door saying, closed until 4pm for a private session. I didn't realize that was for me!! She sent home all the other tattoo artists and locked up. We had the place to ourselves. I thought that was really nice of her!

 I wore temporary ones in there and I wore two different colors because we were trying to decide what color to go with. We ended up deciding on in between the two. She got set up and said, I'll get started and you can decide how it feels. I didn't really feel it. One good thing about being numb!! I could feel the vibration and a little of the "scraping" that I felt on my wrist tattoo, but no pain. So off she went. It took about 30 minutes for each one. By the end I was feeling a little raw and ready to be done. She was pushing and pulling on my breast a lot too and I'm not crazy about that with these implants either, so I was ready to be done. Still, not at all what I was fearing and if anybody is reading this and trying to decide whether they want tattooed nipples, it's not bad. And it'll be so much better than the temporaries that only last 1 1/2 to 2 weeks and then look ugly and weird, all peely.

After she was done she said, now, don't freak out about the color. They will lighten up so much you'll probably think they are too light. That takes about a week to 10 days. I can already see them getting lighter which is good because they were BRIGHT pink!!! Like that bright pink lipstick you see!!! We will make color adjustments when I go back and she will also fill in any places she might have missed and stuff like that.

They were super tender for the rest of the day. She put bandages on them and I had t wear them for an hour, then wash with warm soapy water, air dry and apply aquaphor 3-4 times a day while the drying and scabbing process takes place. Lovely looking right about now haha. I did quite a bit of bleeding, I was surprised. The right one is still red and a little swollen and Matt is telling me I need to switch to neosporin for a couple days, that I might have a slight infection. While vacuuming this morning, I could feel that the muscle was sore. As she was tattooing I could feel it in that muscle and going up my shoulder. Not pain, I could just feel it. Hopefully that straightens up in a day or so.

All in all not a bad process and I'm glad I did it. I didn't know I would have to go back and not thrilled with that but it won't be as detailed as this time. Then I can finally say I am DONE with this!!!


Friday, March 22, 2013

1 year anniversary!

Well, it has been one year since my surgery. All day I've been telling Matt, one year ago right now I was in pre year right now we were on our way and my phone was ringing off the hook, only I didn't want to talk to anyone because I was doing really good mentally and I knew one call with a cryer and it would be over!

It doesn't seem like a year already. I remember every detail so vividly. Heading to the hospital, feeling really good about it all. I had thought I'd be a mess that day but I wasn't. I was glad to be getting it over with after all the time it took to find a dr that would do my surgery. I am soooo glad it's all in the past now. No more worry, no more pain of healing, just back to normal. My new normal. I can't say I'm still adjusting to my new boobs, but they are so different from my old ones in so many ways that sometimes it's surreal. They are still pretty numb, although they have softened up a lot. I really, really love them. Some things are really different. Like it kinda hurts to hold something against them. If I'm trying to carry something heavy and you rest it on your chest, the pressure against them isn't comfortable. Even the cat doing his picking stomping thing on them can be uncomfortable sometimes. But overall, I love them. I feel normal now with the size, not embarrassed. I love that.

Tomorrow I go for my nipple tattooing. I am choosing permanent tattoo's instead of the one's you get from the plastic surgeon. I have read and heard from a few women that those only last about 2 years and you have to get them retouched with color. I am having the same woman who did my wrist tattoo do my nipples. She said she guarantee's them for 10 years before they fade. I just want to be done. I'm tired of the temporary ones, they don't last very long and are kinda pricey. I'm nervous of what it's going to feel like and look like, but I'm ready. I have been thinking about what I want to do about nipples for a year now. I've worn the temporaries in varieties of colors and I've went without them for weeks, trying to see what I prefer. I always come to the same conclusion...I want them done permanently so I don't have to think about it anymore.

I will try to get on here tomorrow evening, perhaps Sunday and write my experience.