I found this video on one of the facebook groups I belong to. Yes, these are coming out of me!
http://www.azfamily.com/clip/14095997/breast-implant-illness-a-search-for-answers
And this is the article she mentions at the end. They did autopsies on women that had implants for 2-30 years and said the chest wall didn't look human anymore. Yikes.
http://www.azfamily.com/story/37399181/cbs-5-investigates-chemist-claims-breast-implants-make-some-women-sick?autostart=true
I can't wait to feel better. I sure hope I do! One lady said her ringing in the ears is gone since she explanted. OMG, I have that and soooo hope it goes away!!! And eye twitching, shortness of breath and stomach distention. Please go with these rotting implants!!!!
Friday, February 2, 2018
Breast implant illness
Well, I have an appt with the chief of plastic surgery at Beaumont for March 6th for a consultation to get my breast implants removed. After joining 3 different fb groups for implant illness and implant illness and breast cancer and one for healing after implants and doing a LOT of research this week, I've decided that I have to get these out. I HAVE to. They are making me sick. Like I said in my previous post, I had no idea there was even such a thing as breast implant illness (BII) until Sunday. I'm so tired of hurting all the time. My back, my legs, my hips, my hands, my forearms, my feet (and not like they are tired). I didn't know what was going on with me. Do I have rheumatoid arthritis? Fibromyalgia? What is going on with me? Just over the last few years so many things have changed about me. I've been to dr's to try to get help and they all tell me, I'm post menopausal, it's my age (57), my weight. It's because I had 2 major surgeries in 3 years and that changes your body and mind. I was so fed up with it last weekend and so down feeling about how little energy I have, how I've gained all this weight and can't get it off no matter what I do (dr: your body is in a battle with itself because of your 2 female hormonal surgeries). My life has changed so much. I can't do a lot of the things I used it just a couple years ago, it's frustrating. To decline that fast. I can hardly go up and down my basement stairs, it hurts so bad.
I don't know why it suddenly popped into my head, could it have anything to do with my implants? I was complaining to Matt, like I often do now, and said, ever since my surgeries I haven't been the same. I've said that a million times to him, starting with the first week after my mastectomy. My back was so bad when I came home. My stomach always bloated and blah feeling and making all kinds of gurgling noises whenever I eat. Still does that. Bloats as soon as I eat. I kept saying, my stomach isn't the same. My body has changed but dr's kept saying that happens with major surgery sometimes. So I decided to google, "Could my breast implants be making me sick?" I don't know if it was divine intervention or what ;) that that popped into my head and I don't know why it took me almost 6 years for it to happen, but you wouldn't believe all the stuff that came up in that search. I clicked on a couple things and learned about BII. They described me to a T. I was floored. I read it to Matt and he said, what the hell?! They had a link to a facebook group so I went and joined the closed group. As soon as I was approved I sat and read. There's over 30,000 women on there all exactly like me. It freaks me out every single day to read their posts about how their arms hurt, how they thought they have RA and some got diagnosed with some of these diseases....the one's who have had implants for many, many years. Someone will say, does anyone get pains under their breast, like a stabbing pain? And all of us say yes. Does anyone have trouble losing weight? Does anyone have trouble breathing? That was today's. I read the thread and almost started crying because I was diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Started having a lot of trouble breathing and developed this cough so went to dr. She put me on an inhaler. Started a new dr last year and she wanted to do a breathing test and found nothing wrong with me, no asthma. Yet I can't breathe. Every one was saying the same thing. They all get breathing tests and pass but can't breathe. One woman said, I bend over to pick something up and I can't breathe. I huff and puff for 5 minutes after that. Her dr told her to lose weight but she's 5"7" and weighs 135. It's just so weird to be a part of 3 different groups and we all have the same symptoms, all developed after implants. And they post their before explant pictures and after explant and the difference!! Everyone says when they get their implants out, they lose 5-10lbs that first week from inflammation. Some continue to lose weight. All of them stop hurting within the first week. All their breathing problems go away immediately. One girl woke up from surgery and started crying cause she could take a deep breath and not cough. Everyone says "the heal is real".
I have done a LOT of research this week, a lot of reading. I have a full page of questions. I have to have a procedure called en bloc capsulectomy. It involves very careful, tedious removal of the implants so not to rupture them. They clean out the cavity where they sit and all the scar tissue and possibly some lymph nodes if they are affected. They run tests to see if you have metal poisoning and mold. You get to keep your implants for future possible lawsuits. I don't intend to sue anyone, I just want them out. It's possible they have been leaking. they also sweat and the sweat causes the chemicals (named in another post) to leak out. I also found out that ALL implants are made from silicone. The shell is silicone. No one told me that when I chose to have saline implants. So when they sweat, the silicone and all the metals of the shell leak out into your body and causes all the symptoms I've been having plus more. Left in too long and they can cause lifelong diseases and in some cases, death. I also have valves on mine, used to fill with more saline after they are inserted if you decide you want to be bigger or smaller. I had to have a second minor surgery to get closed up permanently after I decided to stay this size. And now I find out that implants made by Mentor, with a textured shell and with valves, which I have both of, by Mentor, have been failing. The valves leak which lets the saline leak out, lets air in and they turn moldy. Then the mold leaks out into your body, very similar to the mold in your bathroom, black mold. There are lawsuits over the leaky valves and textured shells. It was also discovered around last spring that the textured implants are causing cancer. I asked my breast surgeon about it and she said there was nothing to worry about. I asked her what signs to watch for and she said there isn't any. I have been uncomfortable with them in my body ever since. I found a test on a Dr's website to test for mold so I took it. It says it is certain that I have mold poisoning. I have 11 of the 13 clusters of signs of having black mold in my body...red eyes, breathing problems, metallic taste in your mouth and many more. THAT freaks me out. That's when I decided to make an appt for a consultation.
All of this really freaks me out and it also disappoints me. I thought I was over this. I thought I could put it in my past. the plastic surgeon who put them in said I might have to change them out after 10 yrs but most women have them for life. Even told me I'd have the nicest breasts in the nursing home. Never told me about the dangers. I thought I did my research on them before getting them but I guess I didn't dig deep enough. I'm not happy with the thought of another surgery. I'm scared. I'm scared to be completely flat. Scared of what they'll find. But feel there's no other choice. They are making me sick now and I don't even want to think about what they'll do to me in the future.
I don't know why it suddenly popped into my head, could it have anything to do with my implants? I was complaining to Matt, like I often do now, and said, ever since my surgeries I haven't been the same. I've said that a million times to him, starting with the first week after my mastectomy. My back was so bad when I came home. My stomach always bloated and blah feeling and making all kinds of gurgling noises whenever I eat. Still does that. Bloats as soon as I eat. I kept saying, my stomach isn't the same. My body has changed but dr's kept saying that happens with major surgery sometimes. So I decided to google, "Could my breast implants be making me sick?" I don't know if it was divine intervention or what ;) that that popped into my head and I don't know why it took me almost 6 years for it to happen, but you wouldn't believe all the stuff that came up in that search. I clicked on a couple things and learned about BII. They described me to a T. I was floored. I read it to Matt and he said, what the hell?! They had a link to a facebook group so I went and joined the closed group. As soon as I was approved I sat and read. There's over 30,000 women on there all exactly like me. It freaks me out every single day to read their posts about how their arms hurt, how they thought they have RA and some got diagnosed with some of these diseases....the one's who have had implants for many, many years. Someone will say, does anyone get pains under their breast, like a stabbing pain? And all of us say yes. Does anyone have trouble losing weight? Does anyone have trouble breathing? That was today's. I read the thread and almost started crying because I was diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Started having a lot of trouble breathing and developed this cough so went to dr. She put me on an inhaler. Started a new dr last year and she wanted to do a breathing test and found nothing wrong with me, no asthma. Yet I can't breathe. Every one was saying the same thing. They all get breathing tests and pass but can't breathe. One woman said, I bend over to pick something up and I can't breathe. I huff and puff for 5 minutes after that. Her dr told her to lose weight but she's 5"7" and weighs 135. It's just so weird to be a part of 3 different groups and we all have the same symptoms, all developed after implants. And they post their before explant pictures and after explant and the difference!! Everyone says when they get their implants out, they lose 5-10lbs that first week from inflammation. Some continue to lose weight. All of them stop hurting within the first week. All their breathing problems go away immediately. One girl woke up from surgery and started crying cause she could take a deep breath and not cough. Everyone says "the heal is real".
I have done a LOT of research this week, a lot of reading. I have a full page of questions. I have to have a procedure called en bloc capsulectomy. It involves very careful, tedious removal of the implants so not to rupture them. They clean out the cavity where they sit and all the scar tissue and possibly some lymph nodes if they are affected. They run tests to see if you have metal poisoning and mold. You get to keep your implants for future possible lawsuits. I don't intend to sue anyone, I just want them out. It's possible they have been leaking. they also sweat and the sweat causes the chemicals (named in another post) to leak out. I also found out that ALL implants are made from silicone. The shell is silicone. No one told me that when I chose to have saline implants. So when they sweat, the silicone and all the metals of the shell leak out into your body and causes all the symptoms I've been having plus more. Left in too long and they can cause lifelong diseases and in some cases, death. I also have valves on mine, used to fill with more saline after they are inserted if you decide you want to be bigger or smaller. I had to have a second minor surgery to get closed up permanently after I decided to stay this size. And now I find out that implants made by Mentor, with a textured shell and with valves, which I have both of, by Mentor, have been failing. The valves leak which lets the saline leak out, lets air in and they turn moldy. Then the mold leaks out into your body, very similar to the mold in your bathroom, black mold. There are lawsuits over the leaky valves and textured shells. It was also discovered around last spring that the textured implants are causing cancer. I asked my breast surgeon about it and she said there was nothing to worry about. I asked her what signs to watch for and she said there isn't any. I have been uncomfortable with them in my body ever since. I found a test on a Dr's website to test for mold so I took it. It says it is certain that I have mold poisoning. I have 11 of the 13 clusters of signs of having black mold in my body...red eyes, breathing problems, metallic taste in your mouth and many more. THAT freaks me out. That's when I decided to make an appt for a consultation.
All of this really freaks me out and it also disappoints me. I thought I was over this. I thought I could put it in my past. the plastic surgeon who put them in said I might have to change them out after 10 yrs but most women have them for life. Even told me I'd have the nicest breasts in the nursing home. Never told me about the dangers. I thought I did my research on them before getting them but I guess I didn't dig deep enough. I'm not happy with the thought of another surgery. I'm scared. I'm scared to be completely flat. Scared of what they'll find. But feel there's no other choice. They are making me sick now and I don't even want to think about what they'll do to me in the future.
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Here is the list of the chemicals found in implants.
CHEMICALS FOUND IN BREAST IMPLANTS - THE COMPLETE LIST
1. Methyl Ethyl Ketone
2. Cyclohexanone
3. Isopropyl alcohol
4. Denatured Alcohol
5. Acetone
6. Urethane
7. Polyvinyl Chloride (Liquid vinyl) This ingredient was used in all medical devices made at Edwards Lab, from tubing to gel.
8. Lacquer Thinner
9. Ethyl Acetate
10. Epoxy Resin
11. Epoxy Hardener - both 10 & 11 are chemically known as glycosides Ether of Bisphenol A.
12. Amine
13. Printing Ink
14. Toluene
15. Dichloromethan (Methylene Chloride) This breaks down in the body so blood cannot carry oxygen: Metabolizes carbon monoxide poisoning. Causes CSN depression.
16. Freon
17. Silicone
18. Flux
19. Solder
20. Metal cleaning Acid
21. Lofol (Formaldehyde)
22. Talcum Powder
23. Color Pigments as Release Agents
24. Oakite (Cleaning Solvent)
25. Eastman 910 glue (Cyanoacyrylates)
26. Ethylene Oxide (ETO)
27. Carbon Black
28. Xylene
29. Hexone
30. Hexanone2
31. Thixon-OSN-2
32. Antioxidant (Rubber)
33. Acid stearic
34. Zinc Oxide
35. Naptha (Rubber Solvent)
36. Phenol
37. Benzene - Known Carcinogen!!!!! KNOWN TO CAUSE IMMUNE DISEASE!!!!!!
2. Cyclohexanone
3. Isopropyl alcohol
4. Denatured Alcohol
5. Acetone
6. Urethane
7. Polyvinyl Chloride (Liquid vinyl) This ingredient was used in all medical devices made at Edwards Lab, from tubing to gel.
8. Lacquer Thinner
9. Ethyl Acetate
10. Epoxy Resin
11. Epoxy Hardener - both 10 & 11 are chemically known as glycosides Ether of Bisphenol A.
12. Amine
13. Printing Ink
14. Toluene
15. Dichloromethan (Methylene Chloride) This breaks down in the body so blood cannot carry oxygen: Metabolizes carbon monoxide poisoning. Causes CSN depression.
16. Freon
17. Silicone
18. Flux
19. Solder
20. Metal cleaning Acid
21. Lofol (Formaldehyde)
22. Talcum Powder
23. Color Pigments as Release Agents
24. Oakite (Cleaning Solvent)
25. Eastman 910 glue (Cyanoacyrylates)
26. Ethylene Oxide (ETO)
27. Carbon Black
28. Xylene
29. Hexone
30. Hexanone2
31. Thixon-OSN-2
32. Antioxidant (Rubber)
33. Acid stearic
34. Zinc Oxide
35. Naptha (Rubber Solvent)
36. Phenol
37. Benzene - Known Carcinogen!!!!! KNOWN TO CAUSE IMMUNE DISEASE!!!!!!
Monday, January 29, 2018
Well, here I am again. It'll be 6 years this coming April since my double mastectomy and reconstruction. I had my last appt with my breast surgeon this past summer, after my 5 year mark. Everything is still good. No signs of cancer or anything like that so she released me. Felt good to put an end to the whole ordeal.
Over the last 2-3 years, I haven't been the same person. My anxiety has increased, my eye sight is worse and I don't have the energy and stamina I used to have. I've always been very active around here, bringing in wood, working outside, nothing really I at least wouldn't try to do and usually could do it. I used to walk 4 miles a day and do weight lifting and cardio. That ended sometime after my hysterectomy. I remember not "feeling it" and my back would get thrown out and put me in the chair for days. I tried some lower key aerobics but my back just wasn't the same. I ended up giving up. I just didn't have it in me and was frustrated that every single time I'd try to exercise, I'd hurt something. Seriously hurt something. And of course that ended up resulting in weight gain. I started seeing my dr about it, asking why I couldn't lose weight anymore. All 3 of my dr's told me the same thing, you are in a battle against your body. Because I had my breasts removed and a total hysterectomy, my hormones...what I have left of them...don't have many places to go. A woman's hormones first and foremost go to her breasts. Then to her female organs such as uterus etc. I didn't have any of this so they just kind of float around and don't know what to do with themselves. Hence weight gain and no weight loss. I tried several times to lose. At one point I lost 3 lbs in 5 months. Very discouraging but my dr would say, at least you're losing something. Anyone that has dieted and works their butts off at it knows that this is very frustrating. To completely change your eating habits, exercise, count calories, drink tons of water only to step on the scale week after week and see no losses. Again, discouraged, frustrated and quit.
Over the next year things really started changing. My back is terrible. I can hardly stand to go grocery shopping now. Ran some errands this weekend, in and out of stores and by the third store I'm limping and staying in the car while hubby goes in. Hip aching, down my leg, foot hurting. This is my new normal. I even made myself a pillow last summer for in the car because I can't stand for my foot to be on the floor. Everyone tells me it's my flip flops, I can't wear them but I don't think so because I haven't worn flip flops in 4 months and the pillow came out again this weekend. I don't feel like the same person. I'm constantly complaining to Matt about my back, my hip, my leg. I have this weird pain in my left breast. they itch all the time, which is very strange when I can't feel them. How are they itching if I have no nerves? Do you know how maddening it is to scratch and you can't feel it? And now whenever I try to stretch, my thighs cramp up. Yesterday I was getting gas, stepped over the hose and my leg cramped. I almost fell over. It hurt so bad. I have many other things going on with me. I have went so downhill over the last couple years and can't figure it out. It takes me forever to get down the basement stairs because of my right leg. Never mind coming up. There are days where I can hardly drag myself out of the chair to do anything. And not your typical, I feel lazy today. Like, I sit there and fall asleep. I feel like I weigh 500lbs and drag myself around. And it all wears on your brain. What is wrong with me??
I have also developed a constant cough and clearing the throat. I eat, I cough. I walk, I cough. I talk, I cough. I got diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Instead of listing everything individually, here is a list of what I am dealing with...
Over the last 2-3 years, I haven't been the same person. My anxiety has increased, my eye sight is worse and I don't have the energy and stamina I used to have. I've always been very active around here, bringing in wood, working outside, nothing really I at least wouldn't try to do and usually could do it. I used to walk 4 miles a day and do weight lifting and cardio. That ended sometime after my hysterectomy. I remember not "feeling it" and my back would get thrown out and put me in the chair for days. I tried some lower key aerobics but my back just wasn't the same. I ended up giving up. I just didn't have it in me and was frustrated that every single time I'd try to exercise, I'd hurt something. Seriously hurt something. And of course that ended up resulting in weight gain. I started seeing my dr about it, asking why I couldn't lose weight anymore. All 3 of my dr's told me the same thing, you are in a battle against your body. Because I had my breasts removed and a total hysterectomy, my hormones...what I have left of them...don't have many places to go. A woman's hormones first and foremost go to her breasts. Then to her female organs such as uterus etc. I didn't have any of this so they just kind of float around and don't know what to do with themselves. Hence weight gain and no weight loss. I tried several times to lose. At one point I lost 3 lbs in 5 months. Very discouraging but my dr would say, at least you're losing something. Anyone that has dieted and works their butts off at it knows that this is very frustrating. To completely change your eating habits, exercise, count calories, drink tons of water only to step on the scale week after week and see no losses. Again, discouraged, frustrated and quit.
Over the next year things really started changing. My back is terrible. I can hardly stand to go grocery shopping now. Ran some errands this weekend, in and out of stores and by the third store I'm limping and staying in the car while hubby goes in. Hip aching, down my leg, foot hurting. This is my new normal. I even made myself a pillow last summer for in the car because I can't stand for my foot to be on the floor. Everyone tells me it's my flip flops, I can't wear them but I don't think so because I haven't worn flip flops in 4 months and the pillow came out again this weekend. I don't feel like the same person. I'm constantly complaining to Matt about my back, my hip, my leg. I have this weird pain in my left breast. they itch all the time, which is very strange when I can't feel them. How are they itching if I have no nerves? Do you know how maddening it is to scratch and you can't feel it? And now whenever I try to stretch, my thighs cramp up. Yesterday I was getting gas, stepped over the hose and my leg cramped. I almost fell over. It hurt so bad. I have many other things going on with me. I have went so downhill over the last couple years and can't figure it out. It takes me forever to get down the basement stairs because of my right leg. Never mind coming up. There are days where I can hardly drag myself out of the chair to do anything. And not your typical, I feel lazy today. Like, I sit there and fall asleep. I feel like I weigh 500lbs and drag myself around. And it all wears on your brain. What is wrong with me??
I have also developed a constant cough and clearing the throat. I eat, I cough. I walk, I cough. I talk, I cough. I got diagnosed with asthma 3 years ago. Instead of listing everything individually, here is a list of what I am dealing with...
FATIGUE OR CHRONIC FATIGUE
COGNITIVE DYSFUNCTION (BRAIN FOG, DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING, MEMORY LOSS
MUSCLE PAIN AND WEAKNESS, JOINT PAIN
HAIR LOSS, DRY SKIN
WEIGHT PROBLEMS
DRY EYES
HYSTERECTOMY
LOW LIBIDO
SLOW HEALING OF CUTS AND SCRAPES, EASY BRUISING
THROAT CLEARING, COUGH, REFLUX, METALLIC TASTES
GASTROINTESTINAL AND DIGESTIVE ISSUES (I've been saying this since my hystyerectomy)
NIGHT SWEATS, INTOLERANT TO HEAT/COLD (extreme!)
EAR RINGING
SLOW MUSCLE RECOVERY AFTER ACTIVITY
SORE AND ACHING JOINTS OF SHOULDERS, HIPS, BACKBONE, HANDS AND FEET
ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND PANIC ATTACKS
SYMPTOMS OF OR DIAGNOSIS OF FIBROMYALGIA (I've been telling Matt for a few years I wonder if I have this)
SYMPTOMS OF OR DIAGNOSIS OF AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASES SUCH AS; RAYNAUD’S SYNDROME, HASHIMOTO’S THYROIDITIS, RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS, (been saying same thing about RA)
Where did this list come from? Yesterday while cutting wood (the log splitter is very loud so my mind wanders since we can't talk), out of nowhere I remembered this episode of The Dr's tv show about some star that had her breast implants removed because they were making her sick. Why did that pop into my head?? So later on I came in to google. And oh my, the stuff I found. It's called BII. breast implant illness. This is about half of the list. I have these symptoms. My mind starts reeling. I'm reading articles and find facebook groups with women who are going through this. I join one, read some posts and now I'm scared. They ALL sound like me!! Some way worse!!! I have saline implants but was not told the shell is made from silicone. There is a list of the chemicals that are in the shell of my implants out there too. I will find it and post it but it's a scary list. Printer ink, benzene (gas), all kinds of poisons and they leak out into your body. Reading the posts from the women really scared me. Matt wants me to see a dr. Some of the women say good luck, no one will believe you. You will have to fight. I had to fight for my mastectomy and now I have to fight again? I'm not even sure what I want to do yet. My mind is reeling. Do I take them out and hope to feel better? What if I don't feel better? I think I can deal with being flat chested. I'm not crazy with how I look with the implants anyway. I just don't want to get sicker.
I will post more info when I have more time. In the meantime, ugh. I am really trying to not let my anxiety (diagnosed with after having the implants) get the best of me.
Marge
Friday, May 1, 2015
So, it's been a while since I've posted. That's because I totally moved past the breast cancer. I had my 3 year anniversary on March 22nd and everything is still good. I don't really think about it too much nowadays. I'm so thankful for finding it so early and stomped it out before it got bad.
About a year ago, I started having other "female problems". I'm in full menopause, yet started having some sporadic bleeding. Just like a period, about 3 times a year. My gyno said it's not a real period because I'm in full menopause and can't have a period now. I went through 3 ultrasounds over the year and 2 biopsies. Given my history and all signs pointed to uterine cancer, she wanted the biopsies done. Nothing was every found as far as cancer. I did have a couple fibroids and the lining of my uterus was thicker than it should be.
Last fall I had another "period", which led to another ultrasound & biopsy. This time it showed that the fibroids had grown considerably and the lining got quite thick, all in a 5 month period. They couldn't figure out why and said maybe they never will, but again, because of my breast cancer history, she thought it was time to do a hysterectomy. We decided to wait until after the holidays and then I did some procrastinating, dreading another surgery. I had the operation done April 20th, almost 2 weeks ago.
I firmly believe that breast cancer and female organ problems and/or cancers go hand in hand. I've heard of too many people since my breast cancer diagnosis who end up getting either uterine (endometrian) cancer, ovarian cancer or some other kind of female organ cancer. I did not hesitate to agree to the full hysterectomy.
The healing has kind of taken me by surprise. My grandma, my mom, both my sisters, a niece and several other female family members have had to get hysterectomies and some of them told me how easy this was going to be, compared to my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. And yes, it was MUCH easier than that was!!!!!! Lord, yes!!!!!!! I was told I'd be sewing by the end of the week (had the surgery on a Monday), that my sister went canoeing a couple days after hers, etc, etc. Well, I have been quite sore! Hubby had to help me out of bed.....lift me up to a sitting position....for the first 4 days. Same with getting up from the recliner. After that I could do it, but still VERY painful!!! It's been a lot slower than I anticipated, which has been very frustrating. I am feeling a lot better now but honestly, still not 100%. I thought I was and then today I decided to do some housework and I think the mopping did me in. We have all hardwood floors except the bedrooms and I think it was too much. (I'm also beginning to think I have some kind of infection...bladder? UTI? but won't go into that). I had planned to clean out the car after this long winter but I was having some pain low in my stomach after mopping and decided not to take the chance of ruining my weekend. Just frustrating. I'm pretty active, REALLY tired of sitting around and just wanted to do some spring stuff since it's such a beautiful day. Oh well, in time.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this post for my memory and for anyone who may still run across this blog, to educate anyone to not let your guard down. Always get tests and anything you're supposed to be getting because you never know!!
Marge
About a year ago, I started having other "female problems". I'm in full menopause, yet started having some sporadic bleeding. Just like a period, about 3 times a year. My gyno said it's not a real period because I'm in full menopause and can't have a period now. I went through 3 ultrasounds over the year and 2 biopsies. Given my history and all signs pointed to uterine cancer, she wanted the biopsies done. Nothing was every found as far as cancer. I did have a couple fibroids and the lining of my uterus was thicker than it should be.
Last fall I had another "period", which led to another ultrasound & biopsy. This time it showed that the fibroids had grown considerably and the lining got quite thick, all in a 5 month period. They couldn't figure out why and said maybe they never will, but again, because of my breast cancer history, she thought it was time to do a hysterectomy. We decided to wait until after the holidays and then I did some procrastinating, dreading another surgery. I had the operation done April 20th, almost 2 weeks ago.
I firmly believe that breast cancer and female organ problems and/or cancers go hand in hand. I've heard of too many people since my breast cancer diagnosis who end up getting either uterine (endometrian) cancer, ovarian cancer or some other kind of female organ cancer. I did not hesitate to agree to the full hysterectomy.
The healing has kind of taken me by surprise. My grandma, my mom, both my sisters, a niece and several other female family members have had to get hysterectomies and some of them told me how easy this was going to be, compared to my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. And yes, it was MUCH easier than that was!!!!!! Lord, yes!!!!!!! I was told I'd be sewing by the end of the week (had the surgery on a Monday), that my sister went canoeing a couple days after hers, etc, etc. Well, I have been quite sore! Hubby had to help me out of bed.....lift me up to a sitting position....for the first 4 days. Same with getting up from the recliner. After that I could do it, but still VERY painful!!! It's been a lot slower than I anticipated, which has been very frustrating. I am feeling a lot better now but honestly, still not 100%. I thought I was and then today I decided to do some housework and I think the mopping did me in. We have all hardwood floors except the bedrooms and I think it was too much. (I'm also beginning to think I have some kind of infection...bladder? UTI? but won't go into that). I had planned to clean out the car after this long winter but I was having some pain low in my stomach after mopping and decided not to take the chance of ruining my weekend. Just frustrating. I'm pretty active, REALLY tired of sitting around and just wanted to do some spring stuff since it's such a beautiful day. Oh well, in time.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this post for my memory and for anyone who may still run across this blog, to educate anyone to not let your guard down. Always get tests and anything you're supposed to be getting because you never know!!
Marge
Monday, March 25, 2013
Nipples!!!
Saturday was my nipple tattooing! I wish I could say I was done but I have to go back in a month for round one...possibly the only round...of touch ups. We got there and there was a sign on the door saying, closed until 4pm for a private session. I didn't realize that was for me!! She sent home all the other tattoo artists and locked up. We had the place to ourselves. I thought that was really nice of her!
I wore temporary ones in there and I wore two different colors because we were trying to decide what color to go with. We ended up deciding on in between the two. She got set up and said, I'll get started and you can decide how it feels. I didn't really feel it. One good thing about being numb!! I could feel the vibration and a little of the "scraping" that I felt on my wrist tattoo, but no pain. So off she went. It took about 30 minutes for each one. By the end I was feeling a little raw and ready to be done. She was pushing and pulling on my breast a lot too and I'm not crazy about that with these implants either, so I was ready to be done. Still, not at all what I was fearing and if anybody is reading this and trying to decide whether they want tattooed nipples, it's not bad. And it'll be so much better than the temporaries that only last 1 1/2 to 2 weeks and then look ugly and weird, all peely.
After she was done she said, now, don't freak out about the color. They will lighten up so much you'll probably think they are too light. That takes about a week to 10 days. I can already see them getting lighter which is good because they were BRIGHT pink!!! Like that bright pink lipstick you see!!! We will make color adjustments when I go back and she will also fill in any places she might have missed and stuff like that.
They were super tender for the rest of the day. She put bandages on them and I had t wear them for an hour, then wash with warm soapy water, air dry and apply aquaphor 3-4 times a day while the drying and scabbing process takes place. Lovely looking right about now haha. I did quite a bit of bleeding, I was surprised. The right one is still red and a little swollen and Matt is telling me I need to switch to neosporin for a couple days, that I might have a slight infection. While vacuuming this morning, I could feel that the muscle was sore. As she was tattooing I could feel it in that muscle and going up my shoulder. Not pain, I could just feel it. Hopefully that straightens up in a day or so.
All in all not a bad process and I'm glad I did it. I didn't know I would have to go back and not thrilled with that but it won't be as detailed as this time. Then I can finally say I am DONE with this!!!
Marge
I wore temporary ones in there and I wore two different colors because we were trying to decide what color to go with. We ended up deciding on in between the two. She got set up and said, I'll get started and you can decide how it feels. I didn't really feel it. One good thing about being numb!! I could feel the vibration and a little of the "scraping" that I felt on my wrist tattoo, but no pain. So off she went. It took about 30 minutes for each one. By the end I was feeling a little raw and ready to be done. She was pushing and pulling on my breast a lot too and I'm not crazy about that with these implants either, so I was ready to be done. Still, not at all what I was fearing and if anybody is reading this and trying to decide whether they want tattooed nipples, it's not bad. And it'll be so much better than the temporaries that only last 1 1/2 to 2 weeks and then look ugly and weird, all peely.
After she was done she said, now, don't freak out about the color. They will lighten up so much you'll probably think they are too light. That takes about a week to 10 days. I can already see them getting lighter which is good because they were BRIGHT pink!!! Like that bright pink lipstick you see!!! We will make color adjustments when I go back and she will also fill in any places she might have missed and stuff like that.
They were super tender for the rest of the day. She put bandages on them and I had t wear them for an hour, then wash with warm soapy water, air dry and apply aquaphor 3-4 times a day while the drying and scabbing process takes place. Lovely looking right about now haha. I did quite a bit of bleeding, I was surprised. The right one is still red and a little swollen and Matt is telling me I need to switch to neosporin for a couple days, that I might have a slight infection. While vacuuming this morning, I could feel that the muscle was sore. As she was tattooing I could feel it in that muscle and going up my shoulder. Not pain, I could just feel it. Hopefully that straightens up in a day or so.
All in all not a bad process and I'm glad I did it. I didn't know I would have to go back and not thrilled with that but it won't be as detailed as this time. Then I can finally say I am DONE with this!!!
Marge
Friday, March 22, 2013
1 year anniversary!
Well, it has been one year since my surgery. All day I've been telling Matt, one year ago right now I was in pre op...one year right now we were on our way and my phone was ringing off the hook, only I didn't want to talk to anyone because I was doing really good mentally and I knew one call with a cryer and it would be over!
It doesn't seem like a year already. I remember every detail so vividly. Heading to the hospital, feeling really good about it all. I had thought I'd be a mess that day but I wasn't. I was glad to be getting it over with after all the time it took to find a dr that would do my surgery. I am soooo glad it's all in the past now. No more worry, no more pain of healing, just back to normal. My new normal. I can't say I'm still adjusting to my new boobs, but they are so different from my old ones in so many ways that sometimes it's surreal. They are still pretty numb, although they have softened up a lot. I really, really love them. Some things are really different. Like it kinda hurts to hold something against them. If I'm trying to carry something heavy and you rest it on your chest, the pressure against them isn't comfortable. Even the cat doing his picking stomping thing on them can be uncomfortable sometimes. But overall, I love them. I feel normal now with the size, not embarrassed. I love that.
Tomorrow I go for my nipple tattooing. I am choosing permanent tattoo's instead of the one's you get from the plastic surgeon. I have read and heard from a few women that those only last about 2 years and you have to get them retouched with color. I am having the same woman who did my wrist tattoo do my nipples. She said she guarantee's them for 10 years before they fade. I just want to be done. I'm tired of the temporary ones, they don't last very long and are kinda pricey. I'm nervous of what it's going to feel like and look like, but I'm ready. I have been thinking about what I want to do about nipples for a year now. I've worn the temporaries in varieties of colors and I've went without them for weeks, trying to see what I prefer. I always come to the same conclusion...I want them done permanently so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I will try to get on here tomorrow evening, perhaps Sunday and write my experience.
Marge
It doesn't seem like a year already. I remember every detail so vividly. Heading to the hospital, feeling really good about it all. I had thought I'd be a mess that day but I wasn't. I was glad to be getting it over with after all the time it took to find a dr that would do my surgery. I am soooo glad it's all in the past now. No more worry, no more pain of healing, just back to normal. My new normal. I can't say I'm still adjusting to my new boobs, but they are so different from my old ones in so many ways that sometimes it's surreal. They are still pretty numb, although they have softened up a lot. I really, really love them. Some things are really different. Like it kinda hurts to hold something against them. If I'm trying to carry something heavy and you rest it on your chest, the pressure against them isn't comfortable. Even the cat doing his picking stomping thing on them can be uncomfortable sometimes. But overall, I love them. I feel normal now with the size, not embarrassed. I love that.
Tomorrow I go for my nipple tattooing. I am choosing permanent tattoo's instead of the one's you get from the plastic surgeon. I have read and heard from a few women that those only last about 2 years and you have to get them retouched with color. I am having the same woman who did my wrist tattoo do my nipples. She said she guarantee's them for 10 years before they fade. I just want to be done. I'm tired of the temporary ones, they don't last very long and are kinda pricey. I'm nervous of what it's going to feel like and look like, but I'm ready. I have been thinking about what I want to do about nipples for a year now. I've worn the temporaries in varieties of colors and I've went without them for weeks, trying to see what I prefer. I always come to the same conclusion...I want them done permanently so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I will try to get on here tomorrow evening, perhaps Sunday and write my experience.
Marge
Friday, February 22, 2013
Nipples & Sweat
How do you like that title? LOL. Nipples because I made my appt to get my nipple tattoo's. I'm a bit freaked out about it. I'm afraid of the pain. My breasts are mostly numb so I don't think I'll feel too much, but I know what it felt like on my wrist. It wasn't bad, really, just scraping feeling. But the thought of doing that to my breasts is scary.
I have been going back and forth with it for some time now. I've been wearing temporary one's and not thrilled with them because they peel off so easily and that's a little bit freakier than nothing at all. They're expensive and only last no longer than 2 weeks. I highly recommend them though for the beginning, until you decide what you want to do because they are temporary and you can try different colors to see what you will want. But for a forever thing, not so much.
Well, I liked the facebook page of the place I got my wrist tattoo and seen they were having a customer appreciation sale for one day a couple Friday's ago. BOGO cosmetic procedure. I called her and asked if nipples were included (oh the things I never thought I'd be asking about!!). She said yes, she would do that for me. Well, we were set to get a snow storm the next day so I told her if it wasn't too bad, I'd come buy the gift certificate. I thought that would buy me some serious thinking time. And if I decided I was too chicken, then I just wouldn't go. So she says, since we're getting a storm, I'll sell you a GC today. There goes my excuse!! Me and Matt drove over there and bought the GC that night when he got home from work. I ended up paying $200 instead of $400, which to me is a deal I couldn't pass up. I was going to do it eventually, when I got my nerve up, so what better time? I put the GC in my purse and had fleeting thoughts of, ok, I can decide when to do it. Then she says, you want to go ahead and set your appt now? GULP. I said, um ok, sure. We decided on March 23rd, a Saturday so Matt can go with me. And ironically, 1 day after my 1 year survivor anniversary. I hope I like them!! I hope she does a good job!!! She did say when she seen my temps, oh, I can do much better than that!! So hopefully she can!!!! Worries me cause they are permanent!! What if she messes up?! Oy!!!
Another thing I've been wanting to do and finally did is call my plastic surgeon and ask for my before picture. I felt awkward calling and saying, hey, could you send me the picture of my boobs Dr A took? I just felt weird doing it. I finally called and asked the girl and she said she would clear it with the dr and call me back. She called me the next day and said he printed it out, did I want to pick it up or have it mailed? I said, mail it please and she said, let me make sure I have the right address. I said, yes! Let's make sure my picture doesn't go to someone else!!!!!!!! My head isn't in the shot, so no one would know who's boobs they are but still!!!! I got them the very next day. Me & Matt were going somewhere and stopped at the mailbox first. I opened it in the car and was SHOCKED when I seen it!!!! I said, oh my God! and showed it to Matt. He said, wow, they sure were big! LOL. Then he asked me, so, do you feel better about what you did now or worse? Do you miss them? I said I have absolutely no regrets what I did. I don't want to die from breast cancer and I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing mammograms, ultrasounds and MRI's every 6 months. And no, I don't miss them AT ALL. I love my new small, NORMAL sized breasts!!!!!! I love, love, love them. It's a whole different world not carrying those things around!!!! Every once in a while I go look at that picture and every single time I have the same reaction. I can't believe how big I was. No wonder I have back problems!!!!
Marge
I have been going back and forth with it for some time now. I've been wearing temporary one's and not thrilled with them because they peel off so easily and that's a little bit freakier than nothing at all. They're expensive and only last no longer than 2 weeks. I highly recommend them though for the beginning, until you decide what you want to do because they are temporary and you can try different colors to see what you will want. But for a forever thing, not so much.
Well, I liked the facebook page of the place I got my wrist tattoo and seen they were having a customer appreciation sale for one day a couple Friday's ago. BOGO cosmetic procedure. I called her and asked if nipples were included (oh the things I never thought I'd be asking about!!). She said yes, she would do that for me. Well, we were set to get a snow storm the next day so I told her if it wasn't too bad, I'd come buy the gift certificate. I thought that would buy me some serious thinking time. And if I decided I was too chicken, then I just wouldn't go. So she says, since we're getting a storm, I'll sell you a GC today. There goes my excuse!! Me and Matt drove over there and bought the GC that night when he got home from work. I ended up paying $200 instead of $400, which to me is a deal I couldn't pass up. I was going to do it eventually, when I got my nerve up, so what better time? I put the GC in my purse and had fleeting thoughts of, ok, I can decide when to do it. Then she says, you want to go ahead and set your appt now? GULP. I said, um ok, sure. We decided on March 23rd, a Saturday so Matt can go with me. And ironically, 1 day after my 1 year survivor anniversary. I hope I like them!! I hope she does a good job!!! She did say when she seen my temps, oh, I can do much better than that!! So hopefully she can!!!! Worries me cause they are permanent!! What if she messes up?! Oy!!!
Another thing I've been wanting to do and finally did is call my plastic surgeon and ask for my before picture. I felt awkward calling and saying, hey, could you send me the picture of my boobs Dr A took? I just felt weird doing it. I finally called and asked the girl and she said she would clear it with the dr and call me back. She called me the next day and said he printed it out, did I want to pick it up or have it mailed? I said, mail it please and she said, let me make sure I have the right address. I said, yes! Let's make sure my picture doesn't go to someone else!!!!!!!! My head isn't in the shot, so no one would know who's boobs they are but still!!!! I got them the very next day. Me & Matt were going somewhere and stopped at the mailbox first. I opened it in the car and was SHOCKED when I seen it!!!! I said, oh my God! and showed it to Matt. He said, wow, they sure were big! LOL. Then he asked me, so, do you feel better about what you did now or worse? Do you miss them? I said I have absolutely no regrets what I did. I don't want to die from breast cancer and I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing mammograms, ultrasounds and MRI's every 6 months. And no, I don't miss them AT ALL. I love my new small, NORMAL sized breasts!!!!!! I love, love, love them. It's a whole different world not carrying those things around!!!! Every once in a while I go look at that picture and every single time I have the same reaction. I can't believe how big I was. No wonder I have back problems!!!!
Marge
Monday, January 21, 2013
I finally figured out how to get this picture from facebook onto here. I got my first tattoo at age 51!! I got it last September, on the 6 month anniversary of my surgery. I didn't do that on purpose..I didn't even realize it was my 6 month anniversary until I was filling out the paperwork and then realized it was 9/22. Perfect day to do it!
I loooove my tattoo!!!! I never thought I'd get one, ever!!! I had been thinking about getting one for a couple years and was going to get one to represent how I feel about FL. When we had to move back to Michigan I was soooo depressed for a long time and was trying to think of something to get. Then I got diagnosed with breast cancer and it shifted my thoughts to a different kind of tattoo. Matt kept telling me to get a pink ribbon on my new boob lol, but I didn't want that. Then I read an interview with Kelly Clarkson and she has this on her rib cage only without the pink ribbon as the Y. I had seen a billboard about dense breasts and the danger they are to women and they used the ribbon as the Y and I loved it. I had heard that a lot of breast cancer survivors were using Kelly's song, Stronger, as their anthem so I looked it up on youtube and watched the video. I LOVED IT!! That's when I decided to get this tattoo. The bracelet is from my sister friend, Tracy, a birthday gift.
Marge
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
New Life
I've been reading a lot of blogs lately. Women who when I was getting my surgery, they were just finding out they were BRCA positive, or they were trying to decide what to do. Now a few of them have had their surgeries and are having a hard time. One isn't healing as fast as she wants to, infections, etc and very discouraged. I say to her, hang in there!!! Things get better and life goes back to normal. Don't regret doing this for yourself, your family, because very soon you will be all healed and living life again and you will be thankful to not have to worry about breast cancer.
All the decisions we have to make before surgery is tough. I'm thankful to be past all of that. I can't wait to read when they are past it all and feeling normal again. It takes time. I think I healed extraordinarily fast and well. I really didn't have too many problems and some of the problems I did have resolved themselves pretty much on their own over time. Matt and I remembered about the torture strap the other day. We both had forgotten about that horrible strap I had to wear for a few weeks because my implants were too high. Looking back, I don't think it did much for me. Same with the lipo I had done under my arms. I felt like my breasts were in my arms way back then but I think what it was, was they were still swelled up and they are high now. My old breasts suffered from being too huge and gravity had left lol. So I didn't feel them next to my arms. It just took some time to get used to. When my plastic surgeon discussed lipo with me when I complained, I thought he was going to do it on the sides of my breasts. I was surprised to come out of surgery and find out it was under my arms. Just takes time to adjust to this new life. Now that a year has passed since diagnosis and 9 1/2 months since surgery, things are all back to normal and I'm ready for a new phase in my life.
P.S. I'm going to try to post a picture of what I did for myself after surgery.
All the decisions we have to make before surgery is tough. I'm thankful to be past all of that. I can't wait to read when they are past it all and feeling normal again. It takes time. I think I healed extraordinarily fast and well. I really didn't have too many problems and some of the problems I did have resolved themselves pretty much on their own over time. Matt and I remembered about the torture strap the other day. We both had forgotten about that horrible strap I had to wear for a few weeks because my implants were too high. Looking back, I don't think it did much for me. Same with the lipo I had done under my arms. I felt like my breasts were in my arms way back then but I think what it was, was they were still swelled up and they are high now. My old breasts suffered from being too huge and gravity had left lol. So I didn't feel them next to my arms. It just took some time to get used to. When my plastic surgeon discussed lipo with me when I complained, I thought he was going to do it on the sides of my breasts. I was surprised to come out of surgery and find out it was under my arms. Just takes time to adjust to this new life. Now that a year has passed since diagnosis and 9 1/2 months since surgery, things are all back to normal and I'm ready for a new phase in my life.
P.S. I'm going to try to post a picture of what I did for myself after surgery.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Time Flies
Well, today is my one year anniversary. I can't believe a whole year has passed since I found out about my breast cancer. It definitely doesn't feel like it. It was such a horrible, sobering day. I'll never forget it, every detail. I was so scared, so lost. I didn't know what to do. There were a million decisions to be made and I was so lost as to what to do.
Looking back now, I can't believe how much I held it together through all of this. Things could have been a lot worse. I couldn't caught it a lot later than I did and had to have faced chemo and other scary things, but thank God I did yearly mammograms and caught it at it's earliest stage. They had been watching area's in my breast for a few years because I had a lot of calcifications and had very dense breasts, meaning it was very hard to see. The mammo tech explained it like a really dense fog and how you can't see through it. That's how they'd see my mammo.
I was just talking to Matt about this and wondering if this radiologist caught something that had been there the last year, maybe more, or did it just turn into cancer last year? I always had to go back for second looks, ultrasounds, etc, because they couldn't see good enough. Did they just let it go every year because they couldn't see it? Or was last year the year it went to cancer? I'll never know how long I had cancer before it was found. I'm just SO THANKFUL it was found. and found early.
I have absolutely no regrets for getting the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. None, not one. Especially since they found signs of DCIS in my right breast. I am so thankful I don't have to worry about it coming back in 5, 10, 20 years. And thankful I don't have to be checked with MRI's and ultrasounds every 6 months. After all, the MRI didn't pick up the beginnings of the DCIS, so how comfortable would I feel depending on it to find anything else?
And, as a bonus, I love my new breasts. Yes, they are partially numb and that can be bothersome sometimes. Sometimes they itch, which I don't understand because how can something that has no tissue inside itch?? And when I scratch I can't feel it. That's strange. They are hard now. They have softened up over the past 8 months, but they are still pretty darn firm! I LOVE LOVE LOVE not owning any bra's!!!!! Very freeing!!! Especially in the summer!!! And this summer I bought my first non underwire bathing suit!!! And was amazed to just pull it over my head and over my boobs and it was on!!!! loved that!!!
I've learned a lot over this past year. Things COULD be worse. Life is short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Live like you were dying. Love freely. Laugh. Life is good. I'm happier now. when you're faced with thoughts of death and leaving people behind and you get pulled back, you are thankful, happy, content. I sometimes wonder, why me? Why did I get spared? Why did I get a second chance? So many people don't. They find their cancer late...any kind of cancer..and it's too late and they suffer and their families suffer watching them suffer and then agonize over them suffering and then they're gone. I'm so thankful I got this second chance and I plan to take every advantage of it. Matt got diagnosed with diabetes a couple months ago and we're changing our lives. We're changing the way we eat. Eating healthier, more fruits, more veggies, more chicken, less red meat. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm taking care of myself. I want to LIVE. I want to be healthy. And not to be cliche, but I want to see my grandchildren. I want to be an old lady someday and they come stay with Grammie and have memories of me with them. I have so much to live for and thank God I get that chance!!!!
Happy healthy anniversary to me!
Looking back now, I can't believe how much I held it together through all of this. Things could have been a lot worse. I couldn't caught it a lot later than I did and had to have faced chemo and other scary things, but thank God I did yearly mammograms and caught it at it's earliest stage. They had been watching area's in my breast for a few years because I had a lot of calcifications and had very dense breasts, meaning it was very hard to see. The mammo tech explained it like a really dense fog and how you can't see through it. That's how they'd see my mammo.
I was just talking to Matt about this and wondering if this radiologist caught something that had been there the last year, maybe more, or did it just turn into cancer last year? I always had to go back for second looks, ultrasounds, etc, because they couldn't see good enough. Did they just let it go every year because they couldn't see it? Or was last year the year it went to cancer? I'll never know how long I had cancer before it was found. I'm just SO THANKFUL it was found. and found early.
I have absolutely no regrets for getting the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. None, not one. Especially since they found signs of DCIS in my right breast. I am so thankful I don't have to worry about it coming back in 5, 10, 20 years. And thankful I don't have to be checked with MRI's and ultrasounds every 6 months. After all, the MRI didn't pick up the beginnings of the DCIS, so how comfortable would I feel depending on it to find anything else?
And, as a bonus, I love my new breasts. Yes, they are partially numb and that can be bothersome sometimes. Sometimes they itch, which I don't understand because how can something that has no tissue inside itch?? And when I scratch I can't feel it. That's strange. They are hard now. They have softened up over the past 8 months, but they are still pretty darn firm! I LOVE LOVE LOVE not owning any bra's!!!!! Very freeing!!! Especially in the summer!!! And this summer I bought my first non underwire bathing suit!!! And was amazed to just pull it over my head and over my boobs and it was on!!!! loved that!!!
I've learned a lot over this past year. Things COULD be worse. Life is short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Live like you were dying. Love freely. Laugh. Life is good. I'm happier now. when you're faced with thoughts of death and leaving people behind and you get pulled back, you are thankful, happy, content. I sometimes wonder, why me? Why did I get spared? Why did I get a second chance? So many people don't. They find their cancer late...any kind of cancer..and it's too late and they suffer and their families suffer watching them suffer and then agonize over them suffering and then they're gone. I'm so thankful I got this second chance and I plan to take every advantage of it. Matt got diagnosed with diabetes a couple months ago and we're changing our lives. We're changing the way we eat. Eating healthier, more fruits, more veggies, more chicken, less red meat. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm taking care of myself. I want to LIVE. I want to be healthy. And not to be cliche, but I want to see my grandchildren. I want to be an old lady someday and they come stay with Grammie and have memories of me with them. I have so much to live for and thank God I get that chance!!!!
Happy healthy anniversary to me!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Thank you
Well, I am all done with the plastic surgeon. I went a couple Friday's ago to get my stitches out and it was my last visit with him! No follow ups!! He asked me if I had any questions and handed me an ID card for my implants, in case I go to another plastic surgeon or move out of state and need work on them. I also learned that they can identify you in death by them!!! Freaky! I was shocked when he told me I was all done....and thrilled!!! I have an appt with the breast surgeon on the 22nd and I'm hoping she says the same thing!
I am so thrilled with my new boobs and my scars and everything. I don't think I could've asked for a better job done. I've read on some other blogs that their PS's don't want to do the cut underneath the breasts because it's too much pressure on the incision line. I haven't had one bit of problem with that. The only scar you can see on me is in my cleavage and I think that's only because it's still pretty pink. Underneath has faded out a lot and if the one in between fades like that, I will be more than happy. I'm still amazed at how good of a job he did after looking at so many mastectomy pictures and scars on the internet to prepare myself.
I am 100% back to normal. I am doing everything just like before breast cancer. I feel great (except for the weight I gained stress eating my way through all of this, ugh), am very grateful and thankful and have a whole new outlook on life. I talked to someone yesterday who had a single mastectomy done 22 years ago, had an implant put in and she gave me some really encouraging words. I feel a lot better having talked with her and knowing life goes on and pretty soon I won't even think about the implants on a daily basis. She said I will always think about the breast cancer, it changes you. You realize how precious life is and you don't take it for granted. I told her I have some days where I can't believe this has happened to me and she said I need to find a way to help others. That makes all the difference in the world. To share the knowledge I gained through this and help someone else who doesn't know what to do and has no one to turn to. Just like I was. And to never forget what God has given me. A new lease on life, a fresh start. (For those of you close to me, it was Steve's mom. what a wonderful lady!!!!)
I want to thank everyone for all of their support. All my friends and family and people out there in the blogging world who have followed me. Support helped me a lot while going through this. So did all the blogs I read. Really nice to read others going through it so you know what to expect. I appreciate all the phone calls and kindness everyone has shown me through all of this. I owe everything in the world to my WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE best friend/husband, Matt. He has been the best thing in my life since 1989 and especially through all of this. And still is while I sometimes struggle with things. I could NEVER ask for a better man, husband, shoulder, brain, rock, friend.
Also to my friend Kari. You have been there for me since the day I found out I had cancer. When I couldn't tell anyone else anything because I didn't want to talk about it before Christmas, there you were. You have been right there to listen and offer support and help and a really good shoulder and heart too. I really, really cherish our friendship and always will, forever. Thanks for being a TRUE friend to me through this. It means the world to me.
So people, I guess that's it for my breast cancer blog. I don't really have anything to write about as far as breast cancer goes. THANK GOD!!!!!!!! I MADE IT!!!!! I DID IT!!!!! I'M FREE!!!!! THANK. THE. LORD.
Marge :)
I am so thrilled with my new boobs and my scars and everything. I don't think I could've asked for a better job done. I've read on some other blogs that their PS's don't want to do the cut underneath the breasts because it's too much pressure on the incision line. I haven't had one bit of problem with that. The only scar you can see on me is in my cleavage and I think that's only because it's still pretty pink. Underneath has faded out a lot and if the one in between fades like that, I will be more than happy. I'm still amazed at how good of a job he did after looking at so many mastectomy pictures and scars on the internet to prepare myself.
I am 100% back to normal. I am doing everything just like before breast cancer. I feel great (except for the weight I gained stress eating my way through all of this, ugh), am very grateful and thankful and have a whole new outlook on life. I talked to someone yesterday who had a single mastectomy done 22 years ago, had an implant put in and she gave me some really encouraging words. I feel a lot better having talked with her and knowing life goes on and pretty soon I won't even think about the implants on a daily basis. She said I will always think about the breast cancer, it changes you. You realize how precious life is and you don't take it for granted. I told her I have some days where I can't believe this has happened to me and she said I need to find a way to help others. That makes all the difference in the world. To share the knowledge I gained through this and help someone else who doesn't know what to do and has no one to turn to. Just like I was. And to never forget what God has given me. A new lease on life, a fresh start. (For those of you close to me, it was Steve's mom. what a wonderful lady!!!!)
I want to thank everyone for all of their support. All my friends and family and people out there in the blogging world who have followed me. Support helped me a lot while going through this. So did all the blogs I read. Really nice to read others going through it so you know what to expect. I appreciate all the phone calls and kindness everyone has shown me through all of this. I owe everything in the world to my WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE best friend/husband, Matt. He has been the best thing in my life since 1989 and especially through all of this. And still is while I sometimes struggle with things. I could NEVER ask for a better man, husband, shoulder, brain, rock, friend.
Also to my friend Kari. You have been there for me since the day I found out I had cancer. When I couldn't tell anyone else anything because I didn't want to talk about it before Christmas, there you were. You have been right there to listen and offer support and help and a really good shoulder and heart too. I really, really cherish our friendship and always will, forever. Thanks for being a TRUE friend to me through this. It means the world to me.
So people, I guess that's it for my breast cancer blog. I don't really have anything to write about as far as breast cancer goes. THANK GOD!!!!!!!! I MADE IT!!!!! I DID IT!!!!! I'M FREE!!!!! THANK. THE. LORD.
Marge :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Week 9 surgery
Well, week 9 has come and gone. Seems surreal. I went in Thursday and had my last reconstruction surgery. Went different this time. Not all the tests before surgery, just change into gown, get the IV...which the nurse couldn't do! Bruised up both my hands! When I had my mastectomy that nurse had no problem! Plastic surgeon came in and drew all over me. Marked where the ports were, marked for the lipo and marked where I wanted my cleavage done over. I didn't really like how he did it the first time, they were too close together. Crazy how you can just pick how you want your boobs to look and a dr says, ok, we can do that. Want more roundness and definition? Ok, we'll suck some fat out here. Strange.
The nurse told me when I was ready to go in she would give me a shot to relax me and it would work in 30 seconds to 1 minute. She was right! I remember watching her put it in my IV and I kinda remember kissing Matt. He said he had to jump up to kiss me goodbye because they immediately started wheeling me away. Last time, all the people that were going to be in on the surgery were waiting in the OR. This time they were all gathered around me in pre op and followed me in. I had an entourage! lol. Last thing I remember was someone telling me to slide onto the operating table. Don't remember going down the hall, coming into the room, the mask, nothing.
Woke up around 1 and they started pushing food and water at me, made me go to the bathroom and asked if I was ready to go home! I was out of there by 2pm, home by 3! Matt came in and sat with me in post op. I was sore, but not too bad. The nurse kept asking me if I wanted a vicodin and I told her I didn't like them. She kept saying I better stay on top of the pain, I was still feeling the anesthesia. That freaked me out cause I knew how bad I was hurting the first time around and didn't want to go there again! But also didn't want to be sick from the vicodin either. So I decided to take ONE, eat this time instead of having an empty stomach and see what happened. At 6:30 that night I said, oh, it's been 5 hours since I took pain meds and I have no pain, guess I'm good! Matt says, Woman, you are a bad ass!! LOL! But seriously, I really had no pain. I was sore of course, I'd been cut and rammed with the lipo wand, but nothing I even needed Motrin for.
We came home and just sat around and watched tv for the rest of the night and day, got a pizza for dinner. I was all bandaged up and dying to see my new cleavage but couldn't. I could see however all the dark purple bruising forming under my arms, where your bra goes!!! Wow!!! And it kept getting bigger and darker. And it really grosses me out to have stitches, especially in my cleavage. I was surprised to see them cause he glued me from the mastectomy. I have about a million little tiny stitches. Again I will say, Dr A knows his work! He's good! I'm thrilled with the results!!! I have a couple single stitches here and there from where he went in for the lipo too. They all come out this next Friday.
Lipo isn't as bad as I feared. My sides are SUPER tender and bruised bad, but I think it's going to be worth it. My chest, by my arm pits, isn't bruised at all but it's really tender. And it goes in now instead of having what I called a fat bubble right there. Too bad I'm 51 and not 21, cause I could wear a tube top now, for once in my life! My boobs are small enough and no fat would hang over!!!!!
I had to go back to the dr Friday and get the bandages removed. Then we stopped to visit my sister Jill and then we went to about a million garage sales...that's how good I felt! BUT, I think getting in and out of the car and the car seat hitting me right in the bruised area every time I did, got to me by 5pm. I was more than ready to come home and sit still!
Soooo, I'm all done! I have my appt Friday for the stitches and I'm assuming probably a couple more follow ups with him, but that was my last surgery!!!!!! I am so thrilled to be past this. I am so thrilled to have kicked it's butt! I am so thrilled to have made it with no problems and come out on the wonderful side I did!!!
So happy & grateful!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Week 8
Well, tomorrow marks 8 weeks. I am completely back to normal. I'm doing everything I was doing before with no pain, no restrictions, just like before. Getting used to the feeling of my new additions. Things feel different now. More firm than I've ever been. Sometimes so firm they are in my way! But getting used to it. Aggravating sometimes, but better than having breast cancer.
Went to the plastic surgeon today. He scheduled me to have the next procedure done, getting the ports off of the implants. I am at my desired, much smaller size and love it. So he will remove the tubing and ports and also going to do some lipo suction on the sides because I complained that they feel like they are in my armpits and he said he could suck some of the fat off the sides and make it less bulky. Also going to do a little at the top, near my armpits, on the front, for the same reasons. I am not thrilled with having lipo done, scares me, which made the nurse laugh because I'm afraid of the lipo after having a double mastectomy. I said yeah, that sounds dumb! He said because of where the lipo takes place he will not be able to RAM the tube thing so it will be a more gentle procedure than what you see on tv. Which also means there could be less bruising. Recovery time is 2 days, so yay for that!
Hopefully that is the last procedure I have to do. I'm soooo ready to be done with this! I know it's only been 8 weeks, but I feel I've been going through all of this since my diagnosis, December 14th, which means 5 months and I am really ready to be done and no more dr's!! I know there are people out there doing chemo and radiation for months at a time and my heart goes out to them. There's also people who have the expanders in and are getting fills and going to the dr for months too, so I know I'm lucky to have all this done in just 8 short weeks, but it still feels like forever.
For mothers day Kari got me a tshirt that says, yeah, they're fake! My real ones tried to kill me! Thought that was funny! And today I got my pink survivor bracelet in the mail that I will proudly and happily wear! Soooo glad I caught this so early and was able to stomp on it til it was gone and can go on and live my life!
Another update after my outpatient surgery next week.
Went to the plastic surgeon today. He scheduled me to have the next procedure done, getting the ports off of the implants. I am at my desired, much smaller size and love it. So he will remove the tubing and ports and also going to do some lipo suction on the sides because I complained that they feel like they are in my armpits and he said he could suck some of the fat off the sides and make it less bulky. Also going to do a little at the top, near my armpits, on the front, for the same reasons. I am not thrilled with having lipo done, scares me, which made the nurse laugh because I'm afraid of the lipo after having a double mastectomy. I said yeah, that sounds dumb! He said because of where the lipo takes place he will not be able to RAM the tube thing so it will be a more gentle procedure than what you see on tv. Which also means there could be less bruising. Recovery time is 2 days, so yay for that!
Hopefully that is the last procedure I have to do. I'm soooo ready to be done with this! I know it's only been 8 weeks, but I feel I've been going through all of this since my diagnosis, December 14th, which means 5 months and I am really ready to be done and no more dr's!! I know there are people out there doing chemo and radiation for months at a time and my heart goes out to them. There's also people who have the expanders in and are getting fills and going to the dr for months too, so I know I'm lucky to have all this done in just 8 short weeks, but it still feels like forever.
For mothers day Kari got me a tshirt that says, yeah, they're fake! My real ones tried to kill me! Thought that was funny! And today I got my pink survivor bracelet in the mail that I will proudly and happily wear! Soooo glad I caught this so early and was able to stomp on it til it was gone and can go on and live my life!
Another update after my outpatient surgery next week.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Week 6
Normalcy!! That's what week 6 is all about! I feel pretty much normal again. I guess it's a new normal cause obviously my boobs feel different, but it's a good normal. No pain left at all. Everything is healed up good and looking really good! Again I will say my plastic surgeon did an awesome job!
I've been working in the yard all week. I still get tired easier than I used to and it frustrates me to no end! I have things to do and I can't stand not being able to do them! Matt says it's from sitting around for 4-5 weeks, I'll have to build my muscles and stamina back up. It makes me mad to get so tired that I have to go sit down in the middle of my to do list. And even worse that sometimes I just can't finish it. I know, I know, it's only been 6 weeks since I had major surgery! But I feel so good that I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want/need to.
I am thrilled to feel this good after just 6 weeks, believe me. I think I was pretty lucky in the healing process. I have to say I was more patient than I thought I would be. I don't have a lot of patience!! I followed dr's orders, didn't do my housework or shopping or anything without help until I got the go ahead and maybe that's why I have felt so good through this process.
We were talking today about week 1 and how I couldn't even stand to take a shower without almost ending up in tears from the pain and being soooo tired I HAD to sit down NOW. How showering was such an ordeal and task with the drains hanging around my neck and how Matt had to dry me off, wash my hair cause I couldn't reach up there, dress me. I am soooo thankful to be past that. 6 weeks flew by, yet it seems so long ago.
I have no regrets of my decision and never will. I am cancer free, no worries, no tests, no drugs. And I love my new small boobs! All you women out there with small boobs wishing you had big ones, no you don't!! Believe me! Small ones are soooo much better! ;)
I've been working in the yard all week. I still get tired easier than I used to and it frustrates me to no end! I have things to do and I can't stand not being able to do them! Matt says it's from sitting around for 4-5 weeks, I'll have to build my muscles and stamina back up. It makes me mad to get so tired that I have to go sit down in the middle of my to do list. And even worse that sometimes I just can't finish it. I know, I know, it's only been 6 weeks since I had major surgery! But I feel so good that I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want/need to.
I am thrilled to feel this good after just 6 weeks, believe me. I think I was pretty lucky in the healing process. I have to say I was more patient than I thought I would be. I don't have a lot of patience!! I followed dr's orders, didn't do my housework or shopping or anything without help until I got the go ahead and maybe that's why I have felt so good through this process.
We were talking today about week 1 and how I couldn't even stand to take a shower without almost ending up in tears from the pain and being soooo tired I HAD to sit down NOW. How showering was such an ordeal and task with the drains hanging around my neck and how Matt had to dry me off, wash my hair cause I couldn't reach up there, dress me. I am soooo thankful to be past that. 6 weeks flew by, yet it seems so long ago.
I have no regrets of my decision and never will. I am cancer free, no worries, no tests, no drugs. And I love my new small boobs! All you women out there with small boobs wishing you had big ones, no you don't!! Believe me! Small ones are soooo much better! ;)
Friday, April 27, 2012
Week 5
Well, week 5 and I feel great!! I almost feel right back to normal. If my breasts weren't so tight, I would. They aren't as tight as they were but still tight. Takes time to soften and loosen up I'm told. I'm pretty much back to doing whatever I want. Matt still has a fit if I lift something but nothing hurts when I do, it's not a struggle and surely my internal stitches are healed by now! Besides, both dr's said do whatever I feel I can do. I don't push it still. There are certain things I'm nervous to lift, but for the most part I'm good. Amazing to heal from such a major surgery so fast!
I still have a couple procedures to get through, some nips and tucks as Dr G. called them, but they don't happen for a month or so. They want to make sure all the swelling is gone before we do any final adjustments. I will be THRILLED to be all done with this!!!
I was so afraid that I was going to be stuck in a chair watching Matt & Kyle do stuff in the yard, mostly worried about working in the garden, but it doesn't look like it's going to be any problem at all. We were dragging branches and wood to the fire pit the other night and I worked in my flower bed. Feels so good to feel normal again and not have all the stress the cancer diagnosis brought with it. Matt said he's finally started to relax and not worry about me now that this is getting farther and farther behind us. I'm so glad. I knew this was really getting to him. His mood and energy has perked back up and he's not calling me everyday like he was ;) .
Just really happy to have this in the past (even though we're not completely there yet) and moving ahead and never have to worry about it again. Monday I have a date with the treadmill :) Only thing that's been holding me back this week is my back. It's hurt since surgery. I'm trying to get an appt with the chiro for tomorrow but can't get ahold of him.
Marge
I still have a couple procedures to get through, some nips and tucks as Dr G. called them, but they don't happen for a month or so. They want to make sure all the swelling is gone before we do any final adjustments. I will be THRILLED to be all done with this!!!
I was so afraid that I was going to be stuck in a chair watching Matt & Kyle do stuff in the yard, mostly worried about working in the garden, but it doesn't look like it's going to be any problem at all. We were dragging branches and wood to the fire pit the other night and I worked in my flower bed. Feels so good to feel normal again and not have all the stress the cancer diagnosis brought with it. Matt said he's finally started to relax and not worry about me now that this is getting farther and farther behind us. I'm so glad. I knew this was really getting to him. His mood and energy has perked back up and he's not calling me everyday like he was ;) .
Just really happy to have this in the past (even though we're not completely there yet) and moving ahead and never have to worry about it again. Monday I have a date with the treadmill :) Only thing that's been holding me back this week is my back. It's hurt since surgery. I'm trying to get an appt with the chiro for tomorrow but can't get ahold of him.
Marge
Friday, April 20, 2012
week 4
Well, week 4 went a lot better than week 3. I have felt a lot better and got the clearance from my plastic surgeon to do whatever I want, using my own discretion. I've been cleaning but nothing too strenuous. Just getting my house back to clean. Matt & Kyle did their best keeping the house up but I think they got burnt out towards the end. I think they're glad I'm back to cooking and cleaning.
I was hoping at Wednesdays appt that he would be ready to close this all up but he's not. he wants to wait another month because I am still pretty swelled up. I've decided not to get anymore saline put in. all that's in there is what was in there When he placed them during surgery. I'm small, but that's what I wanted. I've been BIG all my life and just don't want to deal with that again. so when the time comes he'll detach the ports and pull the implants down into place.
I still feel very stiff and tight and he said it will take a while to soften up, give it time. I feel much better than previous weeks so that's good. I tore my incision a little tiny bit but he said its superficial, nothing to worry about, it will heal. It had been pulling really hard, making me think a stitch was too tight and I think it broke loose. Feels much better now! but now have to let the tear heal.
Certain things are harder than I want them to be, like sleeping. I slept in the recliner for 3 weeks. I'd try to get in bed and COULD NOT get comfortable. I am finally back in the bed but in my back and I am a stomach sleeper! Hard to sleep, I wake up a million times a night. Driving isn't as easy as it used to be either. hard to lean forward and hard to keep my arms up on the steering wheel. And hard to put my socks on haha. I can but it takes effort.
But there are plenty of things I didn't think I'd be doing yet and am thrilled to do, like the clothesline. And I really never had a lot of problems with my arms past week 2. I'm feeling better everyday and with each week I'm amazed at how fast and well I'm healing. And last but not least, my shirts fit a jolt better!! :)
I was hoping at Wednesdays appt that he would be ready to close this all up but he's not. he wants to wait another month because I am still pretty swelled up. I've decided not to get anymore saline put in. all that's in there is what was in there When he placed them during surgery. I'm small, but that's what I wanted. I've been BIG all my life and just don't want to deal with that again. so when the time comes he'll detach the ports and pull the implants down into place.
I still feel very stiff and tight and he said it will take a while to soften up, give it time. I feel much better than previous weeks so that's good. I tore my incision a little tiny bit but he said its superficial, nothing to worry about, it will heal. It had been pulling really hard, making me think a stitch was too tight and I think it broke loose. Feels much better now! but now have to let the tear heal.
Certain things are harder than I want them to be, like sleeping. I slept in the recliner for 3 weeks. I'd try to get in bed and COULD NOT get comfortable. I am finally back in the bed but in my back and I am a stomach sleeper! Hard to sleep, I wake up a million times a night. Driving isn't as easy as it used to be either. hard to lean forward and hard to keep my arms up on the steering wheel. And hard to put my socks on haha. I can but it takes effort.
But there are plenty of things I didn't think I'd be doing yet and am thrilled to do, like the clothesline. And I really never had a lot of problems with my arms past week 2. I'm feeling better everyday and with each week I'm amazed at how fast and well I'm healing. And last but not least, my shirts fit a jolt better!! :)
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Week 3
Can't believe how fast time is flying by. especially considering the boredom and long days stuck here alone. hard to believe its been 3 weeks already.
week 3 was definitely more challenging than week 2. mentally and physically. mentally because I'm feeling better and want to do stuff around here but get tired and sore easily and then have to sit down and then feel frustrated that I am so tired from washing a few dishes. Feel like an old lady. Plus, I've never been stuck in my house for 3 weeks and not be able to drive anywhere. really tired of this chair and the tv. been reading some and Sue gave me a puzzle book, been doing that. Change of pace!
Physically because I had some trouble with the torture strap over the weekend and haven't worn it since. woke up in the night and it was squeezing down so hard on me I had to undo it. Felt like my boobs would explode out the bottom of my incisions! Not fun! I was in a lot of pain in the middle of the night and never really went back to sleep. Put it back on the next morning and it was still way too tight and it was rubbing me raw under my arms. thought I could take a couple days break from it but the raw spots won't go away so yesterday I called the dr and told them what was going on and he said I don't have to wear it.
but the problem is that my implants are too high and he said when we go in to detach the ports then he will probably have to go in and pull the implants down. Sounds like loads of fun!!! In the meantime, now I have lumps way up high on my chest and over by my armpits and they are really in my way and annoying. I don't go back to the dr until the 25th so have to deal with it until then. I think at that appt we decide if I want some saline added to make me bigger and then go in and detach the ports and be done. I will be sooooo glad to be done!!!!
I had read on a couple other blogs that weeks 3 and 4 were most challenging for them so guess I'm right on par! I feel good today and did more around here than I've done yet and then went to lunch with Sue and still feel good, so making progress here. It can be frustrating at times. I keep saying I just want to be back to normal. Been a while! But I'm getting there...slowly but surely.
week 3 was definitely more challenging than week 2. mentally and physically. mentally because I'm feeling better and want to do stuff around here but get tired and sore easily and then have to sit down and then feel frustrated that I am so tired from washing a few dishes. Feel like an old lady. Plus, I've never been stuck in my house for 3 weeks and not be able to drive anywhere. really tired of this chair and the tv. been reading some and Sue gave me a puzzle book, been doing that. Change of pace!
Physically because I had some trouble with the torture strap over the weekend and haven't worn it since. woke up in the night and it was squeezing down so hard on me I had to undo it. Felt like my boobs would explode out the bottom of my incisions! Not fun! I was in a lot of pain in the middle of the night and never really went back to sleep. Put it back on the next morning and it was still way too tight and it was rubbing me raw under my arms. thought I could take a couple days break from it but the raw spots won't go away so yesterday I called the dr and told them what was going on and he said I don't have to wear it.
but the problem is that my implants are too high and he said when we go in to detach the ports then he will probably have to go in and pull the implants down. Sounds like loads of fun!!! In the meantime, now I have lumps way up high on my chest and over by my armpits and they are really in my way and annoying. I don't go back to the dr until the 25th so have to deal with it until then. I think at that appt we decide if I want some saline added to make me bigger and then go in and detach the ports and be done. I will be sooooo glad to be done!!!!
I had read on a couple other blogs that weeks 3 and 4 were most challenging for them so guess I'm right on par! I feel good today and did more around here than I've done yet and then went to lunch with Sue and still feel good, so making progress here. It can be frustrating at times. I keep saying I just want to be back to normal. Been a while! But I'm getting there...slowly but surely.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Week 2
wow, I can't believe it's 2 weeks today since surgery. But most of all I can't believe how far I've come in these 2 weeks. I feel so good now and really didn't expect that in 2 weeks. My drains came out yesterday, finally, and I am so thrilled about that!!! those things were a pain!! In my way to shower and many other things. Good riddance to them!!! But boy did it hurt getting them out!! WOW, didn't expect that!! good thing is, it only hurt for about 5 seconds and then it was over. Just the actual removal of them. so glad they are gone!!
the dr gave me the go ahead to do some light things around here, hooray!! I feel so bad for Matt working so much and so hard, driving an hour there and back and then cooking dinner, trying to clean up around here, doing laundry. He's been very overwhelmed with it all and very stressed with the whole surgery thing. He told me last night he was so worried about how much pain I was going to be in after surgery. me too, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I expected. the first few days were, make no mistake, but by day 5 I was off all pain meds except maybe an occasional Motrin here and there. I didn't like the Vicodin AT ALL so quit taking it, but quickly realized I really didn't need anything. I had read the sooner you stop taking them, the faster you'll heal, so maybe that plays a part in how far I've come.
so today I made the beds, washed a few dishes, folded some towels and did some picking up around here. there's still so much to do, but after doing that I actually was sweating for some reason and took my shower. Came out ready to sit. I plan on cooking dinner for the first time tonight too, something small though.
Feels so great to be getting back to normal! Can't wait to see how good I feel by week 3!!
the dr gave me the go ahead to do some light things around here, hooray!! I feel so bad for Matt working so much and so hard, driving an hour there and back and then cooking dinner, trying to clean up around here, doing laundry. He's been very overwhelmed with it all and very stressed with the whole surgery thing. He told me last night he was so worried about how much pain I was going to be in after surgery. me too, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I expected. the first few days were, make no mistake, but by day 5 I was off all pain meds except maybe an occasional Motrin here and there. I didn't like the Vicodin AT ALL so quit taking it, but quickly realized I really didn't need anything. I had read the sooner you stop taking them, the faster you'll heal, so maybe that plays a part in how far I've come.
so today I made the beds, washed a few dishes, folded some towels and did some picking up around here. there's still so much to do, but after doing that I actually was sweating for some reason and took my shower. Came out ready to sit. I plan on cooking dinner for the first time tonight too, something small though.
Feels so great to be getting back to normal! Can't wait to see how good I feel by week 3!!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
take a lesson
I got my pathology report yesterday. the cancer was in my left breast. It was a non invasive cancer and it didn't show anything invasive. No other cancer cells. showed all the calcifications, which are what lead to all of this in the first place. I had clusters of them.
the right breast also showed calcifications, the kind that can lead to cancer. It showed some cells that were indicators of possible invasive cancer in the future. she said indicators of DCIS, which is worse than what I had. DCIS is in the ductal system and spreads. I was very surprised to hear this because I've never had trouble with the right. I've never been called back for ultrasounds for the right side, never a problem. all tests done, including an MRI said right side was normal, nothing remarkable. It took cutting all the breast tissue out, sending it to a lab to be picked apart piece by piece for them to find what could've been a huge, horrible fight for my life. doesn't make me very confident of all the testing that's out there! Mammograms never seen ANYTHING on the right, and the MRI that took 1,000 images didn't find a thing either!! How freaking scary is that?!
so my lesson here is, when you have this gut feeling, deep, deep in your heart and you KNOW something is wrong and even though ALL dr's are telling you all you need to do is the lumpectomy (or whatever it is you're going through) and you're doing all this research and people are questioning what you want to do and you're getting all these opinions and comments, you do what YOU feel is the thing to do. dr's are just people too. They are just like us only with a degree. Yes, a medical degree, but this doesn't mean they know everything and it certainly doesn't mean they know what's right for you. You need to research, research and research some more. You dedicate your life to learning everything you can about your problem and then you learn some more, because you have to be your own advocate. you can't depend on others to make life decisions for you. Of course you have to listen to drs for some things, but I'm saying when you have that gut feeling and things you are reading are pointing to the same things, then stick to your guns. find someone who will help you. go to dr after dr after dr until you find someone who is willing to listen and help.
I am so thankful for finding Dr Goethals. thank you to my sister, Jill, for seeing that billboard. I was losing hope when every dr turned me away saying I was being too radical. dr Goethals also told me I was taking a radical step, but she also said that it's my body and my life and I should be able to do what I want with it. she too was surprised of the right breast findings. I now feel 100% confident in the decision I made. Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd have to do. I was scared to death to actually go through with it, but I knew I had to for my own piece of mind. I KNEW something could go wrong. and I kept hearing stories of others who's mom or aunt or friend started out the same as me and decided to listen to the drs and even second opinions and go with the lumpectomy and then have it come back and take their life. I didn't want that to happen. And now it won't.
I am 100% cancer free. I had clean margins, lymph nodes are all good, I am healthy once again. I don't have to worry about 5 years down the road this coming back. I'm done. and I got me some 20 year old boobs for life! ;) My plastic surgeon did a freaking AWESOME job!!!!!! the ONLY scars I have are underneath. I've looked at about a million pictures to prepare myself for what I was going to look like and I have seen some pretty scarred up boobs. I have no visible scars. I am thrilled.
thanks to all of you who have supported me and listened to me and helped me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
the right breast also showed calcifications, the kind that can lead to cancer. It showed some cells that were indicators of possible invasive cancer in the future. she said indicators of DCIS, which is worse than what I had. DCIS is in the ductal system and spreads. I was very surprised to hear this because I've never had trouble with the right. I've never been called back for ultrasounds for the right side, never a problem. all tests done, including an MRI said right side was normal, nothing remarkable. It took cutting all the breast tissue out, sending it to a lab to be picked apart piece by piece for them to find what could've been a huge, horrible fight for my life. doesn't make me very confident of all the testing that's out there! Mammograms never seen ANYTHING on the right, and the MRI that took 1,000 images didn't find a thing either!! How freaking scary is that?!
so my lesson here is, when you have this gut feeling, deep, deep in your heart and you KNOW something is wrong and even though ALL dr's are telling you all you need to do is the lumpectomy (or whatever it is you're going through) and you're doing all this research and people are questioning what you want to do and you're getting all these opinions and comments, you do what YOU feel is the thing to do. dr's are just people too. They are just like us only with a degree. Yes, a medical degree, but this doesn't mean they know everything and it certainly doesn't mean they know what's right for you. You need to research, research and research some more. You dedicate your life to learning everything you can about your problem and then you learn some more, because you have to be your own advocate. you can't depend on others to make life decisions for you. Of course you have to listen to drs for some things, but I'm saying when you have that gut feeling and things you are reading are pointing to the same things, then stick to your guns. find someone who will help you. go to dr after dr after dr until you find someone who is willing to listen and help.
I am so thankful for finding Dr Goethals. thank you to my sister, Jill, for seeing that billboard. I was losing hope when every dr turned me away saying I was being too radical. dr Goethals also told me I was taking a radical step, but she also said that it's my body and my life and I should be able to do what I want with it. she too was surprised of the right breast findings. I now feel 100% confident in the decision I made. Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd have to do. I was scared to death to actually go through with it, but I knew I had to for my own piece of mind. I KNEW something could go wrong. and I kept hearing stories of others who's mom or aunt or friend started out the same as me and decided to listen to the drs and even second opinions and go with the lumpectomy and then have it come back and take their life. I didn't want that to happen. And now it won't.
I am 100% cancer free. I had clean margins, lymph nodes are all good, I am healthy once again. I don't have to worry about 5 years down the road this coming back. I'm done. and I got me some 20 year old boobs for life! ;) My plastic surgeon did a freaking AWESOME job!!!!!! the ONLY scars I have are underneath. I've looked at about a million pictures to prepare myself for what I was going to look like and I have seen some pretty scarred up boobs. I have no visible scars. I am thrilled.
thanks to all of you who have supported me and listened to me and helped me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
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