Well, week 5 and I feel great!! I almost feel right back to normal. If my breasts weren't so tight, I would. They aren't as tight as they were but still tight. Takes time to soften and loosen up I'm told. I'm pretty much back to doing whatever I want. Matt still has a fit if I lift something but nothing hurts when I do, it's not a struggle and surely my internal stitches are healed by now! Besides, both dr's said do whatever I feel I can do. I don't push it still. There are certain things I'm nervous to lift, but for the most part I'm good. Amazing to heal from such a major surgery so fast!
I still have a couple procedures to get through, some nips and tucks as Dr G. called them, but they don't happen for a month or so. They want to make sure all the swelling is gone before we do any final adjustments. I will be THRILLED to be all done with this!!!
I was so afraid that I was going to be stuck in a chair watching Matt & Kyle do stuff in the yard, mostly worried about working in the garden, but it doesn't look like it's going to be any problem at all. We were dragging branches and wood to the fire pit the other night and I worked in my flower bed. Feels so good to feel normal again and not have all the stress the cancer diagnosis brought with it. Matt said he's finally started to relax and not worry about me now that this is getting farther and farther behind us. I'm so glad. I knew this was really getting to him. His mood and energy has perked back up and he's not calling me everyday like he was ;) .
Just really happy to have this in the past (even though we're not completely there yet) and moving ahead and never have to worry about it again. Monday I have a date with the treadmill :) Only thing that's been holding me back this week is my back. It's hurt since surgery. I'm trying to get an appt with the chiro for tomorrow but can't get ahold of him.
Marge
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
week 4
Well, week 4 went a lot better than week 3. I have felt a lot better and got the clearance from my plastic surgeon to do whatever I want, using my own discretion. I've been cleaning but nothing too strenuous. Just getting my house back to clean. Matt & Kyle did their best keeping the house up but I think they got burnt out towards the end. I think they're glad I'm back to cooking and cleaning.
I was hoping at Wednesdays appt that he would be ready to close this all up but he's not. he wants to wait another month because I am still pretty swelled up. I've decided not to get anymore saline put in. all that's in there is what was in there When he placed them during surgery. I'm small, but that's what I wanted. I've been BIG all my life and just don't want to deal with that again. so when the time comes he'll detach the ports and pull the implants down into place.
I still feel very stiff and tight and he said it will take a while to soften up, give it time. I feel much better than previous weeks so that's good. I tore my incision a little tiny bit but he said its superficial, nothing to worry about, it will heal. It had been pulling really hard, making me think a stitch was too tight and I think it broke loose. Feels much better now! but now have to let the tear heal.
Certain things are harder than I want them to be, like sleeping. I slept in the recliner for 3 weeks. I'd try to get in bed and COULD NOT get comfortable. I am finally back in the bed but in my back and I am a stomach sleeper! Hard to sleep, I wake up a million times a night. Driving isn't as easy as it used to be either. hard to lean forward and hard to keep my arms up on the steering wheel. And hard to put my socks on haha. I can but it takes effort.
But there are plenty of things I didn't think I'd be doing yet and am thrilled to do, like the clothesline. And I really never had a lot of problems with my arms past week 2. I'm feeling better everyday and with each week I'm amazed at how fast and well I'm healing. And last but not least, my shirts fit a jolt better!! :)
I was hoping at Wednesdays appt that he would be ready to close this all up but he's not. he wants to wait another month because I am still pretty swelled up. I've decided not to get anymore saline put in. all that's in there is what was in there When he placed them during surgery. I'm small, but that's what I wanted. I've been BIG all my life and just don't want to deal with that again. so when the time comes he'll detach the ports and pull the implants down into place.
I still feel very stiff and tight and he said it will take a while to soften up, give it time. I feel much better than previous weeks so that's good. I tore my incision a little tiny bit but he said its superficial, nothing to worry about, it will heal. It had been pulling really hard, making me think a stitch was too tight and I think it broke loose. Feels much better now! but now have to let the tear heal.
Certain things are harder than I want them to be, like sleeping. I slept in the recliner for 3 weeks. I'd try to get in bed and COULD NOT get comfortable. I am finally back in the bed but in my back and I am a stomach sleeper! Hard to sleep, I wake up a million times a night. Driving isn't as easy as it used to be either. hard to lean forward and hard to keep my arms up on the steering wheel. And hard to put my socks on haha. I can but it takes effort.
But there are plenty of things I didn't think I'd be doing yet and am thrilled to do, like the clothesline. And I really never had a lot of problems with my arms past week 2. I'm feeling better everyday and with each week I'm amazed at how fast and well I'm healing. And last but not least, my shirts fit a jolt better!! :)
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Week 3
Can't believe how fast time is flying by. especially considering the boredom and long days stuck here alone. hard to believe its been 3 weeks already.
week 3 was definitely more challenging than week 2. mentally and physically. mentally because I'm feeling better and want to do stuff around here but get tired and sore easily and then have to sit down and then feel frustrated that I am so tired from washing a few dishes. Feel like an old lady. Plus, I've never been stuck in my house for 3 weeks and not be able to drive anywhere. really tired of this chair and the tv. been reading some and Sue gave me a puzzle book, been doing that. Change of pace!
Physically because I had some trouble with the torture strap over the weekend and haven't worn it since. woke up in the night and it was squeezing down so hard on me I had to undo it. Felt like my boobs would explode out the bottom of my incisions! Not fun! I was in a lot of pain in the middle of the night and never really went back to sleep. Put it back on the next morning and it was still way too tight and it was rubbing me raw under my arms. thought I could take a couple days break from it but the raw spots won't go away so yesterday I called the dr and told them what was going on and he said I don't have to wear it.
but the problem is that my implants are too high and he said when we go in to detach the ports then he will probably have to go in and pull the implants down. Sounds like loads of fun!!! In the meantime, now I have lumps way up high on my chest and over by my armpits and they are really in my way and annoying. I don't go back to the dr until the 25th so have to deal with it until then. I think at that appt we decide if I want some saline added to make me bigger and then go in and detach the ports and be done. I will be sooooo glad to be done!!!!
I had read on a couple other blogs that weeks 3 and 4 were most challenging for them so guess I'm right on par! I feel good today and did more around here than I've done yet and then went to lunch with Sue and still feel good, so making progress here. It can be frustrating at times. I keep saying I just want to be back to normal. Been a while! But I'm getting there...slowly but surely.
week 3 was definitely more challenging than week 2. mentally and physically. mentally because I'm feeling better and want to do stuff around here but get tired and sore easily and then have to sit down and then feel frustrated that I am so tired from washing a few dishes. Feel like an old lady. Plus, I've never been stuck in my house for 3 weeks and not be able to drive anywhere. really tired of this chair and the tv. been reading some and Sue gave me a puzzle book, been doing that. Change of pace!
Physically because I had some trouble with the torture strap over the weekend and haven't worn it since. woke up in the night and it was squeezing down so hard on me I had to undo it. Felt like my boobs would explode out the bottom of my incisions! Not fun! I was in a lot of pain in the middle of the night and never really went back to sleep. Put it back on the next morning and it was still way too tight and it was rubbing me raw under my arms. thought I could take a couple days break from it but the raw spots won't go away so yesterday I called the dr and told them what was going on and he said I don't have to wear it.
but the problem is that my implants are too high and he said when we go in to detach the ports then he will probably have to go in and pull the implants down. Sounds like loads of fun!!! In the meantime, now I have lumps way up high on my chest and over by my armpits and they are really in my way and annoying. I don't go back to the dr until the 25th so have to deal with it until then. I think at that appt we decide if I want some saline added to make me bigger and then go in and detach the ports and be done. I will be sooooo glad to be done!!!!
I had read on a couple other blogs that weeks 3 and 4 were most challenging for them so guess I'm right on par! I feel good today and did more around here than I've done yet and then went to lunch with Sue and still feel good, so making progress here. It can be frustrating at times. I keep saying I just want to be back to normal. Been a while! But I'm getting there...slowly but surely.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Week 2
wow, I can't believe it's 2 weeks today since surgery. But most of all I can't believe how far I've come in these 2 weeks. I feel so good now and really didn't expect that in 2 weeks. My drains came out yesterday, finally, and I am so thrilled about that!!! those things were a pain!! In my way to shower and many other things. Good riddance to them!!! But boy did it hurt getting them out!! WOW, didn't expect that!! good thing is, it only hurt for about 5 seconds and then it was over. Just the actual removal of them. so glad they are gone!!
the dr gave me the go ahead to do some light things around here, hooray!! I feel so bad for Matt working so much and so hard, driving an hour there and back and then cooking dinner, trying to clean up around here, doing laundry. He's been very overwhelmed with it all and very stressed with the whole surgery thing. He told me last night he was so worried about how much pain I was going to be in after surgery. me too, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I expected. the first few days were, make no mistake, but by day 5 I was off all pain meds except maybe an occasional Motrin here and there. I didn't like the Vicodin AT ALL so quit taking it, but quickly realized I really didn't need anything. I had read the sooner you stop taking them, the faster you'll heal, so maybe that plays a part in how far I've come.
so today I made the beds, washed a few dishes, folded some towels and did some picking up around here. there's still so much to do, but after doing that I actually was sweating for some reason and took my shower. Came out ready to sit. I plan on cooking dinner for the first time tonight too, something small though.
Feels so great to be getting back to normal! Can't wait to see how good I feel by week 3!!
the dr gave me the go ahead to do some light things around here, hooray!! I feel so bad for Matt working so much and so hard, driving an hour there and back and then cooking dinner, trying to clean up around here, doing laundry. He's been very overwhelmed with it all and very stressed with the whole surgery thing. He told me last night he was so worried about how much pain I was going to be in after surgery. me too, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I expected. the first few days were, make no mistake, but by day 5 I was off all pain meds except maybe an occasional Motrin here and there. I didn't like the Vicodin AT ALL so quit taking it, but quickly realized I really didn't need anything. I had read the sooner you stop taking them, the faster you'll heal, so maybe that plays a part in how far I've come.
so today I made the beds, washed a few dishes, folded some towels and did some picking up around here. there's still so much to do, but after doing that I actually was sweating for some reason and took my shower. Came out ready to sit. I plan on cooking dinner for the first time tonight too, something small though.
Feels so great to be getting back to normal! Can't wait to see how good I feel by week 3!!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
take a lesson
I got my pathology report yesterday. the cancer was in my left breast. It was a non invasive cancer and it didn't show anything invasive. No other cancer cells. showed all the calcifications, which are what lead to all of this in the first place. I had clusters of them.
the right breast also showed calcifications, the kind that can lead to cancer. It showed some cells that were indicators of possible invasive cancer in the future. she said indicators of DCIS, which is worse than what I had. DCIS is in the ductal system and spreads. I was very surprised to hear this because I've never had trouble with the right. I've never been called back for ultrasounds for the right side, never a problem. all tests done, including an MRI said right side was normal, nothing remarkable. It took cutting all the breast tissue out, sending it to a lab to be picked apart piece by piece for them to find what could've been a huge, horrible fight for my life. doesn't make me very confident of all the testing that's out there! Mammograms never seen ANYTHING on the right, and the MRI that took 1,000 images didn't find a thing either!! How freaking scary is that?!
so my lesson here is, when you have this gut feeling, deep, deep in your heart and you KNOW something is wrong and even though ALL dr's are telling you all you need to do is the lumpectomy (or whatever it is you're going through) and you're doing all this research and people are questioning what you want to do and you're getting all these opinions and comments, you do what YOU feel is the thing to do. dr's are just people too. They are just like us only with a degree. Yes, a medical degree, but this doesn't mean they know everything and it certainly doesn't mean they know what's right for you. You need to research, research and research some more. You dedicate your life to learning everything you can about your problem and then you learn some more, because you have to be your own advocate. you can't depend on others to make life decisions for you. Of course you have to listen to drs for some things, but I'm saying when you have that gut feeling and things you are reading are pointing to the same things, then stick to your guns. find someone who will help you. go to dr after dr after dr until you find someone who is willing to listen and help.
I am so thankful for finding Dr Goethals. thank you to my sister, Jill, for seeing that billboard. I was losing hope when every dr turned me away saying I was being too radical. dr Goethals also told me I was taking a radical step, but she also said that it's my body and my life and I should be able to do what I want with it. she too was surprised of the right breast findings. I now feel 100% confident in the decision I made. Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd have to do. I was scared to death to actually go through with it, but I knew I had to for my own piece of mind. I KNEW something could go wrong. and I kept hearing stories of others who's mom or aunt or friend started out the same as me and decided to listen to the drs and even second opinions and go with the lumpectomy and then have it come back and take their life. I didn't want that to happen. And now it won't.
I am 100% cancer free. I had clean margins, lymph nodes are all good, I am healthy once again. I don't have to worry about 5 years down the road this coming back. I'm done. and I got me some 20 year old boobs for life! ;) My plastic surgeon did a freaking AWESOME job!!!!!! the ONLY scars I have are underneath. I've looked at about a million pictures to prepare myself for what I was going to look like and I have seen some pretty scarred up boobs. I have no visible scars. I am thrilled.
thanks to all of you who have supported me and listened to me and helped me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
the right breast also showed calcifications, the kind that can lead to cancer. It showed some cells that were indicators of possible invasive cancer in the future. she said indicators of DCIS, which is worse than what I had. DCIS is in the ductal system and spreads. I was very surprised to hear this because I've never had trouble with the right. I've never been called back for ultrasounds for the right side, never a problem. all tests done, including an MRI said right side was normal, nothing remarkable. It took cutting all the breast tissue out, sending it to a lab to be picked apart piece by piece for them to find what could've been a huge, horrible fight for my life. doesn't make me very confident of all the testing that's out there! Mammograms never seen ANYTHING on the right, and the MRI that took 1,000 images didn't find a thing either!! How freaking scary is that?!
so my lesson here is, when you have this gut feeling, deep, deep in your heart and you KNOW something is wrong and even though ALL dr's are telling you all you need to do is the lumpectomy (or whatever it is you're going through) and you're doing all this research and people are questioning what you want to do and you're getting all these opinions and comments, you do what YOU feel is the thing to do. dr's are just people too. They are just like us only with a degree. Yes, a medical degree, but this doesn't mean they know everything and it certainly doesn't mean they know what's right for you. You need to research, research and research some more. You dedicate your life to learning everything you can about your problem and then you learn some more, because you have to be your own advocate. you can't depend on others to make life decisions for you. Of course you have to listen to drs for some things, but I'm saying when you have that gut feeling and things you are reading are pointing to the same things, then stick to your guns. find someone who will help you. go to dr after dr after dr until you find someone who is willing to listen and help.
I am so thankful for finding Dr Goethals. thank you to my sister, Jill, for seeing that billboard. I was losing hope when every dr turned me away saying I was being too radical. dr Goethals also told me I was taking a radical step, but she also said that it's my body and my life and I should be able to do what I want with it. she too was surprised of the right breast findings. I now feel 100% confident in the decision I made. Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd have to do. I was scared to death to actually go through with it, but I knew I had to for my own piece of mind. I KNEW something could go wrong. and I kept hearing stories of others who's mom or aunt or friend started out the same as me and decided to listen to the drs and even second opinions and go with the lumpectomy and then have it come back and take their life. I didn't want that to happen. And now it won't.
I am 100% cancer free. I had clean margins, lymph nodes are all good, I am healthy once again. I don't have to worry about 5 years down the road this coming back. I'm done. and I got me some 20 year old boobs for life! ;) My plastic surgeon did a freaking AWESOME job!!!!!! the ONLY scars I have are underneath. I've looked at about a million pictures to prepare myself for what I was going to look like and I have seen some pretty scarred up boobs. I have no visible scars. I am thrilled.
thanks to all of you who have supported me and listened to me and helped me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
week 1
well, one week down. I'm doing pretty good. still lots of soreness, especially in the morning. thats my worse time and I have a hard time getting going. By mid morning I am coming alive though. I'm a morning person so it's hard to feel like absolute crap in the morning. soooo stiff, swelled and sore in the mornings.
went to the plastic surgeon yesterday. I was worn out before even leaving the house, which made just going there hell. I woke up really dizzy (HATE the Vicodin) and kept sweating so I wanted at least a bath before going. No showers aloud yet and it's been a week (GROSS). Matt was not thrilled I wanted to sit in the tub. Not being able to use my arm strength he was scared I wouldn't be able to get out. so was I, but I was desperate for more than a sponge bath. It went fine, got out ok, even had a few laughs over the whole ordeal, but we couldn't figure out how to wash my disgusting flattened hair.
I decided to stop by great clips on the way to get my hair washed. HEAVEN!! so, got out of the tub, dressed, emptied my drains and left. I was totally exhausted already, desperately wanting the recliner. the ride, 40 minutes, to the dr wasn't fun either. I am really, really swelled.
Dr comes in, asks for my sheet that we've recorded the drain amounts on. sheet? What sheet?? No one told us to record any amounts, just to empty them and take notice of the amounts. He was none too happy, lectured us a bit, but as Matt pointed out on the way home, why didn't HE tell us the day he came to the hospital and released me? he left no discharge orders at all. so I have the drains until next Wednesday, boo. I don't think he would've taken them out anyway, still a lot of stuff.
he comments on how swelled I am, leaves and comes back with this elastic strap and puts it around me, around the top of my chest. OMG. this thing is a torture strap. It's SOOOOOO tight!!!! I can hardly breathe and feel panic coming on. I'm totally exhausted, so ready to go home, very sore and now constricted. I can't even think how to explain how tight this thing is. he says to wear it most of the time. take it off to shower or if I go to a party or something. I looked at him like he was insane. A party?! really?! He laughs.
we leave, get out to the car and I cannot breathe. Matt's telling me to undo it until we get home where I can relax. I finally do, such a relief!!! I wear it to bed, wake up at 2am in so much pain. Undo it for a while and hook it back up til 6:30am. Put it back on at 10 and wore it til 6. seems to be helping...more on the left than right. this thing is NOT my friend. I go back next Wednesday and he BETTER tell me I'm done with it. I get my drains out that day too. YAY!!!!!
So, here I sit in the recliner all day. My butt is so sore. Been on the phone most of the day and watched some stuff from my DVR. It was my first day alone. went good. Tomorrow I go see the breast surgeon. I sure hope it doesn't wear me out!! I got the ok for showers, so will be doing that tonight instead of tomorrow. should go ok....I hope. Kari is coming out to take me.
Honestly I can't believe how far I've come in one week. amazing. trying to be patient with the healing. Not like I can do much of anything anyway. Made myself lunch and was ready to be back in the recliner. Odd to get so tired from making lunch.
thanks for all the cards, flowers, gifts, texts and calls. keeping me from going crazy with boredom!
went to the plastic surgeon yesterday. I was worn out before even leaving the house, which made just going there hell. I woke up really dizzy (HATE the Vicodin) and kept sweating so I wanted at least a bath before going. No showers aloud yet and it's been a week (GROSS). Matt was not thrilled I wanted to sit in the tub. Not being able to use my arm strength he was scared I wouldn't be able to get out. so was I, but I was desperate for more than a sponge bath. It went fine, got out ok, even had a few laughs over the whole ordeal, but we couldn't figure out how to wash my disgusting flattened hair.
I decided to stop by great clips on the way to get my hair washed. HEAVEN!! so, got out of the tub, dressed, emptied my drains and left. I was totally exhausted already, desperately wanting the recliner. the ride, 40 minutes, to the dr wasn't fun either. I am really, really swelled.
Dr comes in, asks for my sheet that we've recorded the drain amounts on. sheet? What sheet?? No one told us to record any amounts, just to empty them and take notice of the amounts. He was none too happy, lectured us a bit, but as Matt pointed out on the way home, why didn't HE tell us the day he came to the hospital and released me? he left no discharge orders at all. so I have the drains until next Wednesday, boo. I don't think he would've taken them out anyway, still a lot of stuff.
he comments on how swelled I am, leaves and comes back with this elastic strap and puts it around me, around the top of my chest. OMG. this thing is a torture strap. It's SOOOOOO tight!!!! I can hardly breathe and feel panic coming on. I'm totally exhausted, so ready to go home, very sore and now constricted. I can't even think how to explain how tight this thing is. he says to wear it most of the time. take it off to shower or if I go to a party or something. I looked at him like he was insane. A party?! really?! He laughs.
we leave, get out to the car and I cannot breathe. Matt's telling me to undo it until we get home where I can relax. I finally do, such a relief!!! I wear it to bed, wake up at 2am in so much pain. Undo it for a while and hook it back up til 6:30am. Put it back on at 10 and wore it til 6. seems to be helping...more on the left than right. this thing is NOT my friend. I go back next Wednesday and he BETTER tell me I'm done with it. I get my drains out that day too. YAY!!!!!
So, here I sit in the recliner all day. My butt is so sore. Been on the phone most of the day and watched some stuff from my DVR. It was my first day alone. went good. Tomorrow I go see the breast surgeon. I sure hope it doesn't wear me out!! I got the ok for showers, so will be doing that tonight instead of tomorrow. should go ok....I hope. Kari is coming out to take me.
Honestly I can't believe how far I've come in one week. amazing. trying to be patient with the healing. Not like I can do much of anything anyway. Made myself lunch and was ready to be back in the recliner. Odd to get so tired from making lunch.
thanks for all the cards, flowers, gifts, texts and calls. keeping me from going crazy with boredom!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I made it!!
I can't type too much right now due to soreness and pulling, especially on the right side, but wanted to let everyone know I'm home. everything went well. surgery lasted longer than they anticipated. I had a pretty good day Friday but Saturday was absolute hell. my own fault and maybe a little bit of the nurses for not making me eat, but whatever, you live and learn. I woke up yesterday and thought I felt pretty good until breakfast came. I took two bites of scrambled eggs and realized my stomach didn't feel all that great. that created a horrible vicious cycle for the day. taking Vicodin, not eating or hardly drinking was not a good combination. My back was killing me from the HORRIBLE bed I had and so was my neck. that kept getting worse and worse and my stomach too. I ended up going home last night simply because of my headache. I knew I couldn't sleep in that bed again. By the time we got home...car ride was hell...any pain meds I had were completely gone, my head felt like my brain was bleeding and I thought for sure I was going to throw up. Matt was so upset that I came home. he called the dr answering service and he too was upset I went home (plastic surgeon released me). he told Matt I was hypoglycemic (hyper??) and MAKE me eat. I forced an orange down and a half a piece of toast, some Vicodin and started feeling better.
doing much better today. Sore obviously. Very tight and rock hard. All swelled up. It's been an adventure so far, that's for sure. glad to be home and healing.
Chest muscles tired, more tomorrow. Kari is spending the week with me, maybe I'll get her to dictate for me lol.
so happy to be home and cancer free!!!
doing much better today. Sore obviously. Very tight and rock hard. All swelled up. It's been an adventure so far, that's for sure. glad to be home and healing.
Chest muscles tired, more tomorrow. Kari is spending the week with me, maybe I'll get her to dictate for me lol.
so happy to be home and cancer free!!!
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